The Ages of Your Religious Transformation

0 – 15: believed that “there must be something”, although not buying the stories from the christian tradition (my parents are not curch-goers)
16 – 24: studied science and analytical philosophy. Reached the conclusion that:

1. the human thinking can be a merely an algorithm, albeit very complex
2. there is no need of a god for that

It’s as simple as that 😉

I didn’t buy that “Mysteries” explanation from a nun, age 10. When you see contradictory information that young, and people try to finesse it, but fail, you’re already a nonbeliever. No matter how I tried I couldn’t convince myself of a god- or rather, which god. Then, who says the xtian god is the real one? They’re all made up as far as I’m concerned, created by the arguably mentally ill or someone with an agenda I want no part of.

5: Prayed to God for unlimited wishes. Ceased using prayers to God in favor of wishes (I seriously can’t remember praying after this point other than for ritualized times like dinner with my grandparents).

6-7: Figured out the wishes worked just as well as not using them. Ceased trying to use them.

8-9: My sister told me she didn’t believe in god. I thought she was just being weird and contrary like she usually was but it got me to thinking about what I believed.

10-11: Figured out that the whole “god” thing didn’t make sense to me. Told my mom I was an atheist. Mom took the family to church a few times before realizing no-one, in the whole family, really wanted to go.

12: Father has stroke (survives with severe brain damage). Felt uncomfortable around relatives who insisted on praying for recovery, further cementing in my mind the feeling of being “different”.

14-16: Joined atheism forums and IRC channels for camaraderie, exploring my reasons for being an atheist and arguing for my position. Stopped visiting after said forums and IRC channels filled with morons who would rather insult, yell, and chat than discuss and debate.

Talked friend out of becoming an atheist out of anger advising him to think about it later when he wasn’t being irrational.

Got caught with ‘The Satanic Bible’ at school (had to have something to read during lunch) by a teacher who then talked to me, making sure I didn’t believe what was in it (I didn’t, but so what if I did?). Forced self to refrain from explaining that I thought her religion was just as wrong. Gained a new least favorite teacher.

17-22: Friend (previously mentioned) comes out to me as an atheist after actual thought on the subject. Friend re-introduces me to the world of internet atheism.

You wrote:
>”Two years of church hopping made
>me think about religion…”

That’s part of your confusion. Church is a great place for gossip and petty politics but church doesn’t have much to do with true faith. Abandoning church doesn’t make you an atheist.

3 – Found out Santa Claus wasn’t real after hiding under the couch on Christmas Eve and catching my mom. Doubtful of all authority thereafter.

4 – Was brought into the Mormon church by parents. Iffy from the beginning about Joseph Smith’s “talking to angels” story and the fact that he suggested a settlement pattern for America that I already knew to be untrue via Discovery Channel. There were no Lamenites in America, and putting black people dressed in Native American garb and war paint in the “Book of Mormon Stories” to teach kids about the history of the world makes all Mormons look like racists and idiots.

6 – Told the Bishop it was bullshit that I couldn’t drink caffeinated tea, go out on Sundays, or have the priesthood, that I thought the planet was very, very old and God could have made the Earth and evolution could be true at the same time. Got slapped. Was told my thoughts were just as much sins as my actions; thought lots of “dirty, bad things” non-stop thereafter and cried at night praying a lot.

7 – Was baptised, and temporarily relieved that I wouldn’t burn in Hell fire. Dirty thoughts resumed almost immediately, concern returned. Started understanding that evolution could happen without God.

8 – Kissed one of the girls at church, found out that wasn’t okay.

9 – Realized grown ups were talking to an imaginary friend. Never went back.

up to age 13 – mass every Sunday and weekly religious education (Catholic)

14-17 – very active in Catholic youth group

17-20 – started attending Bible studies, involvement in Intervarsity Christian Fellowship in college

20-22 – start wondering why I believe in Jesus and realize I am letting other people think for me. Realize I can’t make myself believe any of it as much as I would like to.

22-24 – discomfort and guilt regarding my lack of belief, wondering how there can be morals without religion.

24-30s – acceptance of the idea that I have no way of knowing whether or not there is a God, etc. No longer feel that I have to have these things figured out. I no longer care. Become comfortable with ambiguity.

3-8 Lived next door to Pentcostal family. They had a daughter my age and I found their beliefs disturbing and really unfair to girls. My scientist parents (geologist and electrical engineer) told me that they were crazy. Vast relief on my part.

9-11 Went on on numerous digs with my mother who instructed me on evolution and paleontology along the way. My father also introduced me to Isaac Asimov, Darwin and other writers that he considered essential for my education. By 11 I had already drawn the conclusion that my parents were right and religion was a sham.

12-present Still an atheist, married to an atheist for 25 years, three atheist kids who are kind, intelligent and genuinely nice people. My two younger children work at a restaurant near my house and I recently got into an argument with a xtian co-worker of theirs who told me that there was no way I raised my kids without religion because they were too kind to be born of godless parents. I answered by asking him who is the truly moral one – a person who does right because they have true compassion for their fellow humans, because this life is all we get, or the one who does right out of a child’s hope for reward and fear of punishment? He had no response.

So, when are you going to stop talking about winning over the ladies and actually start trying to do it? Sorry, gotta call you out on this ;P

I don’t really post anything on here(ever), but this was really interesting.

8-9: I admit to myself that I don’t actually believe any of the events that happened in the Bible. They’re just really long stories that someone made up.
10: I stopped going to church, but was afraid to tell anyone else that I didn’t believe in God, Jesus, or the Bible.
12ish: I admitted to myself and everyone else that I was an atheist which turned out be a very good thing for me mentally.

Although no one took it seriously and they still think it’s just a phase that’ll pass despite the fact that I’m still an atheist after everything that’s happened in the past few years. *rolling eyes*

4-9 questioned everything thrown at me in Sunday school (got thrown out of several Sunday schools), was always questioning in religion class at school (was in Catholic school system), my mother was asked to remove me from the Catholic system as I was a pain in the neck

9-18 knew religion was a crock of poop but still believed that there was a god and that he was punishing me (illnesses, abuse et al)

18-25realised that if there was a god, he was a dick, read biology textbooks, “A Brief History of Time” et al, weighed the evidence, realised that god was a figment of someone else’s imagination. Kept my disbelief to myself and felt VERY guilty and alone about it. Thought I was probably the only atheist on the planet. Joined a youth group, went to various christian churches, accidently set fire to a catholic church (WHY all the candles people?!?!) went to synagogue and interrogated a muslim friend about islam.

25+read “The God Delusion” realised I’m not alone, read “god is Not Great” decided to “come out” and declare myself an atheist. Was pleased but secretly disappointed in the lack of drama in my family. Discovered that my grandparents are atheists and that my mother is a “christian by tradition” (i.e an atheist who keeps up appearances in the christian world) and that my husband and his family are atheists. Am now not ashamed of my atheism, discuss it in public, write letters to the editor and am immune to attacks from evangelicals.

Most importantly: I’m a lot happier, less bitter and feel a LOT less guilt than before I realised there’s no invisible man in the sky watching me poop and judging me.

Wow, you guys are Atheist prodigies compared to me. I feel like the slow kid now.

0-14 I was good little Roman Catholic boy. I loved the stories of angels and saints that the teachers at my Catholic grade school told me. Didn’t really pray but went to church most weeks and all major and some minor holidays. My school was very liberal, I realize now, and didn’t teach biblical literalism. Some parts of the bible were taught as fact and others, mostly old testament, were not.

I was an altar boy for 5 years. True confession: the unblessed eucharists are stored in the sacristy’s vault. I used to get there early and steal a sleeve of the wafers. I thought they were tasty as crackers.

14-20 I took every science course I could in High School and became a Biology major in college. I didn’t actively seek to make my religious beliefs work with all this knowledge but I can remember reconciling evolution and creation in my head by turning it into a very passive form of ID. I also became more involved in the ceremony. I became certified to administer the eucharist at mass. I remember feeling very proud of that.

20 My father died of cancer. I wanted so bad to feel comfort from God. I had no problem with why bad things happened to good people. I just wanted some comfort. I got none. The religious aspect of the funeral did nothing for me. It was the people who knew my father that did. Their stories and sharing my stories with them was a celebration of his life and not a mourning for his loss and that got me through it.

20-26 became a “C&E” christian. No religion in my daily life and mass only on the 2 major holidays, and on the anniversary of my father’s death. I didn’t turn my back on it, it just didn’t seem to matter anymore. Even at mass, I just went through the motions. I still believed but it had to importance or connection to my actual life.

26+ I really immerse myself in atheist books, “new atheism” as it’s now called. Started with Dawkins and came at it from a very scientific and materialist viewpoint. I still feel the occasional twinge of guilt since i was raised in that Catholic life for so long but I recognize that for what it is and continue living my life.

Sorry for the long answer.

11: Read the book of mormon and simultaneously began to believe, and the seed was planted to make me fall away (the slaying of laban)

11-24: Happily mormon, not many questions. (Why would god allow Nephi to kill Laban?)

24: Lost my first child to terminal illness. The serious questions began. Must squelch.

25-34: Happily mormon, but the questions…the questions…make them stop!

34: Finally began asking the questions…the end was near

35: Left mormonism…found I was not chrisitan…oh look buddhism looks nice.

36: Hopelessly skeptical and admittedly atheist. Bye bye buddhism, at least you taught me more than christianity that I can still look to…hello real peace and happiness.

0 – 12: Went to church twice a week (Catholic school ahoy). Prayed lots, never felt anything. Doubted that god had total control over life, like my mother believed.

13: Mom dies. Decide that if there is a god, he’s a jackass. Nearly strangle the people at the funeral who say “god has a plan” or “god needed her in heaven”.

14 – 18: Discover deism, decide that fits pretty well. Become politically liberal, decide that most organized religions don’t have much to offer.

18 – 21: Get to college, call myself an agnostic for a while, then start reading the atheosphere and decide that atheist is much more accurate. Very out on internet/around friends, not at all to family.

0-10 Raised Lutheran, attended services and sunday school.

11-12 Learned about dinosaurs, evolution, plate tectonics, other cultures, other religions, and the big bang theory. First communion.

13+ Became certain this religious stuff is all made up by man, and told my mom I didn’t believe. I’m in a church now only for weddings and funerals and it’s been like that for the last 43 years.

0-8 or so: Rarely went to church as far as I remember.

9-12: Grandparents on my father’s side (fairly religious) move near by, for some reason this prompts my mother to want to go to church with them. I protest, as morning and uncomfortable clothes are pretty much my mortal enemies and church involves both, but in that age range there’s really nothing I can do. I make the argument that if god is really omnipotent why should it matter if we go to church. I never receive a satisfactory answer, and that probably was what got the ball rolling.

13-14: My grandfather dies of cancer and my grandmother moves back to Virginia where most of her extended family lives, so the forced church trips taper off to zero. At the same time I’m on a bit of a science kick, spending hours online and/or at the library teaching myself about astronomy, chemistry, etc. I of course come across information on how much various religious leaders throughout history have attempted to suppress science.

15-17: Study hall discussions with friends of various religious stances, more reading, and a newfound awareness of world religions after 9/11 lead me to the conclusion that any kind of omnipotent god is unlikely. Further, I decide that the specific “evidence” suggested by defenders of the Abrahamic religions either fails scientific scrutiny or is untestable. I go from calling myself Christian but not really believing or participating to agnostic to atheist fairly quickly, but I keep quiet to my family.

18: Once I moved out of my parents’ house and went to college I started disconnecting as much as possible from their fiscal or legal influence so I would be able to let them know my real feelings on a number of issues, not just religion, without fear of them cutting me off from something I enjoyed or depended on. In hindsight, this was me being paranoid and I really had no reason to believe anything would come of it (nothing really has either, I get in to debates with them when we have family get-togethers, but it’s all civilized). On the plus side though that paranoia did result in me getting set up for a “responsible adult” life far earlier than most of my friends.

19: Family RV trip and during a particularly boring drive across the flyover states my dad is listening to Rush Limbaugh. He says something famously stupid and I can’t hold my tongue any longer and go off on a rant about the First Amendment and Church/State issues. The discussion very rapidly leads to me “coming out” as a hard atheist and explaining my reasons.

I’m now 22 and have converted my mom to the point where she’s only holding on to the social aspects of religion as far as I can tell. I have no idea where my dad or brother stand, but the topic rarely comes up with them and I don’t care to prod. My grandmother on my dad’s side is convinced I’m going to hell, though that was pretty much expected.

0-10: Raised Cotholic, first communion and all that jazz.

10: Read Childhood’s End. Didn’t actually believe it was true, but the part about the aliens looking like the devil made me realize that religion could be a mistaken way to explain the world…start looking for real explanations. (Also begins my undying love of science fiction)

11-12: Shark Week turns me on to Discovery Channel.

12: Mom gives me the choice to get confirmed or not. I choose not. First time I call myself an atheist.

14-18: I get a fantastic science education in a public high school (man, those were the days). BIO final in tenth grade = Molecules to Man. Describe as many steps in evolution from single celled organisms to humans in fifty minutes. My first massive hand cramp.

18: I go to Villanova, a fine Catholic University. Great time. Wonderful conversations with the priests. I stay an atheist.

25-32: Get a coaching job at a Kentucky university. For the first time being an atheist presents some problems…especially when it comes to recruiting. For the first few years, I find out what it’s like to be a closet atheist. I don’t like it. Takes a while, but I find a nice middle ground and learn how to get along being “out,” despite the extreme religiosity of the area. Having fun now. Love my job.

11-12:

Damn. I am SUCH a slow learner! *lol* I began my atheist conversion at age 14, but didn’t finish it until I was 37!

12-14 While working on a science project I realized the bible didn’t make sense with respect to science. I decided fairly quickly that if the bible was wrong about the origins of earth, there must not be a god. Maybe not the most logical or rational thought process, but that’s how I remember it.

There wasn’t much progression, I decided god didn’t make sense and to me it was an either/or situation. So I never went through a period of being an agnostic or anything like that. In the past few years I’ve become more interested in the subject, and started reading Dawkins, Ehrman, and some others. Over 20 years ago I gave up my faith and have never felt lost without it. Life is better when you’re not worried about some magical guy in the clouds watching your every move.

0-9: Never went to church, nor was I baptized.

10-12: Went to church at most once or twice yearly, and was very bored. If asked my religion, I would say “My father is Methodist and my mother is Catholic”.

13: Read in Geography class something along the lines of “20,000 B.C.: Man invents religion to escape fear of death.” This making perfect sense to me, I was now an atheist.

14-17: Became militant atheist on online message boards. Among friends, was open about my atheism, but did not make fun of my Christian friends… too much.

18-19: Bored of winning arguments on online message boards, stopped being militant atheist. This being the beginning of college, I was careful to not associate myself with any “crazies”, but did not really pay attention to the issues. During this time read my first atheist literature, “The God Delusion”.

20: Studied abroad in Hong Kong and studied Buddhism (on my own time, not in college). Impressed with its teachings, became a “fake Buddhist”. After a few months, did not like what being Buddhist entailed, and also was uncomfortable with its similarity to liberal Christianity. Declared myself again to be atheist. Joined the local atheist group on campus. Started reading lots of atheist literature.

21 (current): Still reading atheist literature, though have focused more on the “militant” atheists (Dawkins, Harris, Hitchens). Want to move on to Mehta and other “friendly” atheists. Intend on running for an officer position in the atheist group.

0: got baptized in Catholic church, entirely because my grandparents pressured my parents.

1-8: didn’t think much about religion. At times I imagined/hoped I was an alien who could telepathically communicate great distances to my home planet, and that one day they would come to take me away from this world. That’s not really religion so much as make-believe, but it’s the closest thing I could cough up.

8: visited my grandparents, had to attend church once. It had the same invisible-wall “get out” feeling that going into the boys bathroom did.

9-18: Oscillated between assuming agnostic and atheist labels, largely because I had the most common misconception about what the difference actually was (i.e., atheism not a positive statement about belief).

19-33 (well, 2 weeks shy): identified as atheist, found dating anyone even slightly religious was becoming a problem. Met current boyfriend 3 years ago, he went public with his atheism (except for the parents) soon after that.

Now I occasionally participate in atheism-related events/etc, and I’ll read/write blogs in my spare time.

Wow, what an uneventful timeline 😉 It’s a significant part of my identity, although the nature of it really hasn’t changed too much in 3 decades and counting. Thank you, secular upbringing!

I wasn’t raised in any kind of formal religion or made to go to church, so:

8-10: Stopped believing in Santa and the Easter Bunny, chucked god out too since he didn’t make any sense either.
10-18: didn’t care much one way or the other

18-24: college brought me in contact with a variety of beliefs but no one ever changed my mind. Mostly I got annoyed, was occasionally verbally insulted.
24-Now: GW got elected by the far right. I got scared and decided it was time to be more outspoken. Felt I needed to prove I wasn’t some kind of villain. I’ve also become a more vocal skeptic and science supporter in that time.

I was reading a small dictionary (yea, that’s right) when I was 10 or so and one of the first pages had “Atheist” on it. I knew right then that that was what I am. I can honestly say that I never “converted” from anything else. My parents were pretty bad people (and not particularly religious) so if you were to tell me at a young age that I had to believe in a concept like “God” when my parents (who are God figures when you’re very young)are so messed it –it would be a hard sell.

10: Realized that God and Santa use the same logic.

13-15: Furious study of every belief system I can get my hands on; convert to new religion virtually every other week.

16-17: Serious study of both UU and Buddhism.

18: Realize I like UU and Buddhism more for underlying principles than for their religious aspects. Abruptly realize my atheism.

22: (present)Found a campus group for atheism and live happily ever after with all my heathen comrades. 🙂

This idea of looking back at your progress toward atheism actually triggered a very emotional response in me, and gave me a much needed shove towards rediscovering my adolesence. Also provided good blog-fodder! Thanks for the idea!

Growing Up An Atheist: Another Internet Meme

I saw Carl Sagan’s series Cosmos when I was twelve. It taught me to appreciate the world as it actually is, not as someone else wished it was.

I identified myself as an atheist at 18 or so but Sagan started me off on the path.

My family always put a lot of emphasis on being honest, and when they would tell me that god was real and that scientists “faked” things I thought they were telling the ‘truth’ not expressing their opinions.
4-7 Raised in Southern Baptist fundie fashion attending church weekly (often told I was a bad person) so bought the whole Christian package.
8-10 Mom quit going to church, but insisted that me and sis still go (church members took us).
11-20 Only attended church a couple of times here or there, but family would still insist that god is real and so is entire Bible.
21-24 I become ‘born again’ after years of mental abuse and finding a few Christian ‘friends’ who are nice to me.
25 Pastor talks about how all these ‘different’ religions are “wrong”…after service I ask why and he (very angrily) yells at me that “THEY JUST ARE!” at this point I become agnostic, but don’t know that word yet so still say I am “christian”.
28-35 I explore many different religions, lean toward New Age and Pagan beliefs, but don’t buy into any gods, really like Buddhist philosophy. I make the leap to atheist during this time.
36 Take a class on “Anthropology of Religion” which really affirms my atheism, and I come out to my mom as an atheist. My other family still are unaware.
37 After many conversations about different religions I convert my mom to atheism through the use of logic. 😀
Present I am raising my son to question everything, and (at least) be a free thinker. I mostly don’t discuss religion with others, however, if someone asks about my ‘religion’ or beliefs I tell them.

5-13 Really didn’t like going to church and was just annoyed by the whole business of religion. Decided Christianity was just as plausible as Greek mythology (which wasn’t plausible at all). For some reason, the word “atheist” garners my sympathy and a small sense of pride, thought I really didn’t know what it meant.

14 My best friend commits suicide. We had played with a ouija board not long before that, so I was filled with guilt and was really scared.

14-17 Cue my interest in Wicca. However, even though I was encouraged by my gf and her family at the time, I just couldn’t get into it. It was interesting, but I just didn’t believe it.

18-20 Just apathetic to religion. I didn’t know what it was doing in the world.

21 My best friend at the time tells me she’s thinking of converting to Reformed Judaism and my very first question is “Why bother?” I wondered why that was my first question. As she studies to convert, I study on my own, to try and understand why she would do that. But I came across “atheism” at some point and I was like “Oh yeah. This makes sense. I guess I was an atheist all my life.” My friend’s conversion makes even less sense to me.

21-23 Reading science and atheism blogs and donating to charity whenever I can. I’m still closeted IRL (but not on the Internet) and I am very annoyed by religiosity around me, but I just do what I have to.

0 – 7: Default atheist. Was raised by nonreligious parents, never went to church, had no idea who God or Jesus were, etc. Read books about dinosaurs.
7 – 10: Fell in love with Greek mythology.
10 – 12: First introduced to Christianity through my classmates. Thought it was about as silly as Greek mythology.
13: First time I really called myself an “atheist.” Had never heard the term before, but someone pointed out that’s what I was. Didn’t realize the implications – just thought, huh, yep, that’s what I am!
13 – 15: Went through a deist phase where I desperately tried to believe in some sort of God, just so I could fit in. I thought I was broken somehow. But deism was about as far as my faith ever went.
15: Science teacher introduced me to evolution and talkorigins.com, knocked creationist nonsense out of my head. Fell in love with evolution.
15 – 18: Called myself an agnostic mainly so people would stop arguing with me.
18: Dated a very religious guy. He eventually dumped me because of my agnosticism. I got cranky because I was basically calling myself agnostic instead of atheist to appease him.
19: Bought and read the God Delusion. Realized I was really an atheist.
20 – 21: Formed a club on campus for nonbelievers, and acted as President! Woo!

It’s a long story. The short version takes all of the doubts any rational person would have, a read through Daniel Dennett’s Darwin’s Dangerous Idea and Carl Sagan’s Demon Haunted World and transforms an uncommitted pseudo-deist agnostic (there may be something there, but hell if I know what it is) to an agnostic atheist (I don’t believe anything is there, but I could be wrong).

5-6 shocked the first time i encountered a discussion of jesus in a history book. despite being part of a devout church going family, my reaction: “you mean he’s REAL?” not really “he’s realliy the word incarnate?” more “you mean that was even based on an actual dude?” i just had him lumped in the the easter bunny and santa. i didn’t believe in them either.

8-12 devoutly religious yet very concerned over lack of conversion experience at my baptism. confusion due to attending a catholic school as a very liberal protestant probably didn’t help my angst.

13 At my 8th grade graduation mass I am asked to carry the Host. I explain that it might not be appropriate since I’m not Catholic. Response: “Just this once it’;; probably be OK.” My response: “Transubstantiation is a LIE!!”

14-18 increasing angst regarding church’s (organized religion’s) treatment of women, LGBTs, minorities, members of other religions. briefly serve as president of gay straight alliance, and have lots of ineffectual debates with the christian student groups. continue to identify as a liberal protestant, throw in some eastern thought, cuz why not?

18-22 become fascinated with philosophy, theology and church history. briefly mistake the fascination for a calling to the ministry. later realize it’s more like the fascination of watching a train wreck, as i don’t believe any of it; especialy the big “jesus is the incarnate son of god” thing. still not sure about the big guy himself. mostly think of him as natural processes and physics personified.

23-present realize that there’s no need to personify natural processes and physics, and also (a big one for me) that I don’t believe in any type of eternal soul (this revelation was largely connected to watching my grandfather’s slow demise from alzheimer’s, and reading lots of oliver sacks (he’s an atheist, right?).

so now i’m an atheist who can recite all the books of the New testament and bible-thump with the best, so i remain grateful for my rigorous sunday schooling.

6: At school (Catholic school) during a lesson on the concept of “best friends,” I said my best friend was Jesus. No one thought I understood, but of course I knew they just didn’t get it.

8-17: Feeling guilty about being bored during Church, I became an altar boy. During teen years, I noticed how similar the altar was to a stage, complete with strategic placement of the ambo, Bishop’s chair, etc.

12: Bit by a mosquito at summer camp. Didn’t fight it, just watched and encouraged her to take her full. Understood what it meant to be an animal.

13-17: Worked as a Sacristan in the church, so was exposed to even more of what went on back stage. None of it was bad, or anything. In fact it was great, I had priests who’d lend me Vonnegut.

14: Having been a math wiz throughout elementary school, by the time I got to high school I had already completed up to the grade 11 or 12 math program. Grade 9 math teacher didn’t believe me and wouldn’t check. The next couple years of math were very boring. I occupied my time by paying attention to people to try and figure out why they found math to be so hard. I came up with all sorts of neat models of learning, thought and communication. A consequence of all of this is I completely lost my interest in math and gained an interest in psychology and other social sciences.

15: Though I didn’t know the word for it, I became a staunch Secularist. At about the same time I realized the power of the answer, “I don’t know,” and agnosticism. I still believed, but I didn’t know. Since I didn’t know, I didn’t have any right to enforce my views on anyone.

16: De facto Deism, though I didn’t know that word either. Still wanted to believe though.

17: Admitted to myself I simply didn’t believe in any of it anymore.

0-22: Believed in “something”, simply because I was told it was so. Never looked into it for myself.

0-5: Heard silly Bible stories from my dad. Didn’t buy a word.

8: Asked my dad what happens if I rip a page of the Bible. Would I go to hell? Dad said no. Something smelled fishy.

8-10: Set traps to find the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and Santa. No results. Fishier, still.

11-14: Dabbled in Wicca. No spells ever worked.

14-22: Put spirituality out of my mind completely.

23: Car accident almost killed me. Developed fear of death, and realized that I had NO IDEA what I believed would happen after I die.

23-25: Actually *thought* about it. Considered the evidence. An atheist is born!

The year Santa Claus gave me a punching bag.

It was clear that he wasn’t omniscent, as I didn’t want one…

And if he wasn’t omniscent, he probably wasn’t real…

And then, I thought: You know who else this sounds like?

This sounds like fun! Can I play?

0-5: Lived in completely secular world. Life revolved around parents, brother and friends, going to preschool, playing with toys, and watching Sesame Street and Mister Rogers. No idea that religion even existed.

5: Attended kindergarten attached to an Episcopal church. School was completely secular. Began to have a vague idea that churches were places where people got together to sing.

5-6: Began to have some idea of things like “angels” and “devils” from Disney cartoons. Assumed they were fictional. Dressed up an an angel for Halloween. Little brother dressed up as a devil. No idea anyone thought these things were real.

6-7: Began to display serious skepticism towards Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and Tooth Fairy. Very much wanted to believe (especially in Santa) but was unsure.

7: Started to watch “Highway to Heaven” on television. Big fan of the show. Gave me an idea of “heaven” as a place in the sky/clouds but figured that everyone knew it was make believe. Also introduced the idea of “God” and more explicit ideas about “angels” but still had no clue people thought they were real.

7-8: Began to read more widely, progressed beyond picture books. Started to notice references to God and Sunday School and the Bible in children’s novels. Cracks started to appear in my secular worldview. Decided people only believed in such things in “the olden days” or in books.

8-10: Began to get vague hints about religion. Started to have a clue that Christmas had something to do with a baby king in a manger. Started to wonder if adults told kids that God and heaven were real but didn’t really believe it themselves.

10: Parents finally confessed that Santa Claus was not real. Had been 99.99% sure, but still somewhat disappointed. Had figured out Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy a few years before. Though sad to be done with childhood magic, glad to know that my skepticism had been vindicated.

11-13: Middle school years. Began to have more of an idea that people were religious in real life and that they actually did take it seriously. Found it hard to believe, but was intrigued. Went to a few religious services with friends. Found it fascinating, but still could not see how people could think it was true.

14-17: High school years. Interest in religion increased. Spent a lot of time doing religious and political debate online. Firmed up my political views, which were in stark contrast to conservative religious ones. Went to Mormon and Baptist summer camps with friends. Found it fascinating, but Baptist camp unpleasantly full of pressure to convert. Felt upset, as I had never had any intention of converting. Had just been in it for the cultural experience.

18-21: College years. Attended Catholic university, but found it to be a pleasant experience. There was no pressure to convert. Continued my interest in religious and political debate online. Enjoyed watching movies about religion and reading books on religious topics. Had some religious friends, but was happy to agree to disagree.

21: Senior year of college. Took innocuously-named course called “Social Psychology of Religious Values.” Was upset by religious teacher who did not seem to believe atheists actually existed. Had never been “attacked” for my beliefs in that way before. Felt out of place and upset in the class. Began to check out the atheist community online. Started posting to alt.atheism.

21-present: Continued my interest in atheist community online. Started to read books about atheism and remained interested in all forms of religion and religious belief. Began to identify as an “out and proud” atheist. Even though I had never hidden it before, began to take more pride in atheism as an aspect of my identity.

5 – I’m told I was “saved”. I don’t remember it. I do, however, remember a number of things from that same period. I suspect that I did it because some grown-up said I was supposed to, and they decided I understood what I was doing.

7 – My depression begins (I think this is significant to how I believe now).

10/11 – My dad gets his first full pastorship, we move to a new town, a new church, a new school, and I have to ride the bus. I have -very- slightly more choice in when I go to church since the house is within shouting distance of the sanctuary. I experience what hypocritical church members of all ages are like for the first time (and not the last, unfortunately). School really aggravates my depression. School tells my mom I’m suicidal, doctor tells us it’s a phase essentially (neither true, thanks doc. . .) and suggests a book by Dr. Dobson (from which I gain nothing).

14-17 – Start reading the Bible from the beginning during services out of boredom (when your dad pastors different churches over time and fills in other places on occasion you get your share of repeats, and it was not of interest anyway). . . it didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me but that didn’t make me rethink anything at the time; think I accepted the ‘old testament doesn’t apply’ argument. Homeschooled (myself) because high school was excessively boring and my parents were homeschooling my sister for middle school anyway, was forced to listen to J. Vernon McGee (which I got out of every chance I could, my favorite was procrastinating at the library on library day so we wouldn’t have to listen on the way home; I liked the library).

16 – was coerced into being baptized by my parents, on Easter no less. Didn’t want to, but I couldn’t see much choice.

17-19 – ‘Dual-enrolled’ and took 25 science credits as part of that (and an AA), but I still held on to YECism because it was what my parents/church taught me (community college science is rather shallow, since it’s introductory; I’d long been interested in science, but our local library system doesn’t have a lot of depth and I was more interested at the time in what I could see right then). I didn’t try to argue the point with professors and I knew inside out what they taught me (fortunately I was never encouraged to refuse to learn what I was being taught, even if my parents disagreed with it; I was [LOL] well-grounded).

19-22 – Finish an AA and move on to the local university as a biology major. It still took a bit to get to the classes that would -really- explain evolutionary theory and the idea of abiogenesis (not to mention Hardy-Weinberg in at least 4 classes. . . think it’s important?). By the end of this time exposure to other people through volunteering at the zoo and being in hard-core science classes I’m having subconscious doubts.

17-23 – I’m also having conscious doubts. All the time at church and on Christian radio people are saying how you’re supposed to vividly remember being saved (including the date) and you’re supposed to feel this way and that way and the other way. I didn’t, and of course I wondered what was wrong with me. Of course I’d also been told that would happen too. Problem (heh) is I only had the doubts and NEVER the feelings I was “supposed to”. I also didn’t like trying to go out and get other people to do things I didn’t want to do, and they didn’t either.

24-26 – A “friend” eventually gave me three things: a severe aggravation of my depression with suicidal plans, realization of my lifelong depression, and a name for my doubts (not in that order). I didn’t accept the latter right away, but an injury and then work gave me the excuses I needed to quit attending church (Christmas ’05 was my last day). I (finally, they don’t call it U Can’t Finish for nothing :P) graduated, with a decent undergrad biology education I’m very grateful for.

26 – I looked back and realized I never did believe. I thought I did, but it was more a “keep the grown-ups happy” deal and not caring enough about life itself to bother with (or have time to) thinking through religion too. I think my depression. . . protected. . . me from those feelings I was supposed to have. I started looking into felids’ role in culture (myths, symbols, everything; it’s a big topic I’m still working on) which cemented my rejection of Christianity. I couldn’t believe God would let people go to hell just because they hadn’t ever heard about Jesus. The story that hadn’t really sat well with me at the time (16/17ish) came back to mind, a missionary told us that the fact a certain tribe fears death is proof they know (wtf!?). My now rather extensive experience with animals (work in two field studies, 7 years of personal relationship-of-sorts with more than a hundred individual animals of various species, and having pets from birth) and my biology degree completely disagreed with this. Fear of death is natural, animals fight tooth and nail to survive unless instinct (and/or the complete lack of any energy left to fight with) tells them they’re just bound to die. [Sometime before I’d already determined subconcsiously that humans are (barely) glorified animals.] While sitting someone’s dog at their house I saw “The Lord’s Bootcamp” which brought me to search the internet for information about it and I came across this site and more of this sort.

27 (present) – I’m willing now to ‘claim’ atheism, but only to people I think can handle it, which basically means I’m only “out” to my zoo friends [zoo people in general are just plain awesome when it comes to accepting other people]. I’m struggling with everything that was pounded into my head over the years of one sort or another, and keeping this from my family (I’m unfortunately not able to be on my own yet with all the things I need to work through and the super bad days I can have -_-) on top of my own biological tendency toward depression, and that “friend”‘s oh-so-generous parting gift. And seeing how little my mom actually understands of the science she so heartily disagrees with (she thinks the “why are there still monkeys?” ‘argument’ is perfectly valid); don’t know about my dad, our relationship has always been very distant, but he -is- still an SBapt. pastor. Someday I hope I can be my real self wherever I am with whoever is near, but I fear that won’t happen.

0-14 My family never talked about religion. I heard about it from other sources, and I just kinda thought all of it was true. I never really thought about there being no god, because no one ever proposed that idea to me. And I never thought too hard that all religions can’t be true, because I never debated anyone on it.

14-18 Some friends invited me to join a Christian youth group. It was fun and I met a lot of nice people and I liked the music. I enjoyed the emotions that I felt when attending the group, and decided that must be the power of God and became a Christian. When I was 16 I was good friends with an athiest. He was the first person to really challenge me on the idea that there was no God, and planted the seeds of doubt. I still hung on to religion.

19 – Started dating my now husband. He really challenged my views about religion (he is an atheist). We stopped discussing the issue for a while.

20 – now I decided that although religion made part of me feel good, I really didn’t beleive any of it. I eventually became more comfortable with saying I was an atheist. Now I am quite vocal about it.

0-12: Took for granted what adults said was true. Religion was everywhere (school, choir, clubs…)

13: Critical faculties begin to kick in. Lying in bed, considering religion objectively for a few minutes before the finding the killer paradox – if god created the world who created god?

13-48: Issue settled I’ve never had any further doubts.

1966 (<1) – I am baptized in the Lutheran church. As I was not terribly cognitive at the time, this event did not have a profound influence on my faith.

~1970 (4) – While sitting in church, I am bothered by an insect and yell out, “I get that damn fly!” My first blasphemy.

1976 (10) – I join the Boy Scouts of America. For the next 8 years, I hike, camp, complete merit badges and increasingly mumble my way through the “reverent” part of the scout law and “promise to do my duty to God” part of the oath. I start leaving “under God” out of my recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance as well.

~1977 (11) – Catechism class. I learn to recite the books of the bible, 10 commandments and other rote memorization skills. Disappointingly, classes happen on the same nights that I would otherwise want to be going to the local amateur astronomy club meetings. The teacher’s lack of ability to answer fundamental cosmological questions fail to convince me of God’s creative powers.

1978 – (12) I begin playing Dungeons & Dragons and fail to be seduced into Satanism and human sacrifice.

1979 – 1981 (13+) On and off, I wear a pendant that used to be my grandfather’s that says “I am a Lutheran” and consider what that actually means. Failing to come up with any answer, I eventually abandon it.

1985 (19) – My Great Grandmother dies and I am so repulsed by the constant talk about Jesus and the mentioning of my great grandmother only at the beginning and end of the eulogy that I never attend another funeral service. Some funeral homes pipe the service into the parking lot over speakers so sometimes it’s a long walk.

1985 (19) – My girlfriend becomes pregnant and my mother insists that I visit the pastor for advise. By the end of the meeting I have received no productive or actionable advise, have revealed that I don’t believe in Christ or God and have been removed from the church rolls, ending two decades of membership in an organization in which I never had any faith.

1986 (20) – I work at a summer camp. The first few days are typical training stuff but when the kids arrive, the prayer before meals changes to Hebrew. I’m a bit pissed that I was not told this in advance but that could be ignored just as well as I ignored it at Boy Scout summer camp. What I disliked more is that the pizza always had onions and would walk a few miles into town on my days off for a proper meat lover’s pizza.

1987 (21) – I take a college course on political philosophy, read works by Martin Luther and finally learn what it means to actually be a Lutheran. It’s clear that I never was a Lutheran.

1997 (31) – I join the Universal Life Church so that I may perform Klingon weddings.

2005 (39) – I start blogging, including various rants about the stupidity of religion

2005 (39) – I listen to Penn Jilette’s “This I Believe” essay and abandon the last vestiges of agnosticism, comfortable thinking of myself not as an atheist; someone who does not believe in god, but as an anti-theist; one that believes that there is no god.

2007 (41) – Read Sam Harris and Dawkins.

So, you can see from my history that it was never really a de-conversion. I was never really brought into the Christian fold. Never convinced. An un-conversion. And, in some ways, I have my parents to thank for that. For whatever reason, religion was something that was done on Sundays and holidays. We didn’t say grace at dinner except at Thanksgiving and Christmas. There were no bedtime prayers. Religion wasn’t discussed about the house. It was go to church on Sundays, send the kids to Sunday school (because, where else would they be) and do the obligatory early teen catechism class. My faith was otherwise left to my own devices and, starting with my first grade year hiding behind the classroom piano reading fourth grade science books, religion never stood a chance.

Wow you guys must be prodigies…

Here’s mine.

5-14 Devout Catholic

15 Start questioning bible stories.

16 My mother dies. I question religion more. My 7 year old brother asks a preist why, with so many bad people in the world, did god have to take our mother? His answer: God works in mysterious ways, He needed her up there more than we needed her down here.

17-25 lost in religous limbo, read plenty of books about Atheism, and also read the bible.

26 I ask myself, Really? He needed her more than we did? Really? An Omnipotent being. I became agnostic.

27-38 Declare myself an Atheist.

39 After reading Richard Dawkins’ the god delusion I discover that I had been an agnostic all along. By the end of the book I was a strong atheist. And now I’m so mad that religion had me fooled for so long that even after declaring myself an atheist I was merely an agnostic… Hoping for life after death. What a horrible thing religion is…

40-? Atheist, Atheist, Atheist…