Scary Excerpt from Quiverfull: Part 2

I’ve been reading Kathryn Joyce‘s Quiverfull and several passages scare the living $#!& out of me.

Like this one, describing a courtship ritual among Quiverfull families:

The fairytale marriage story for this generation of patriarchy daughters is that of the courtship and wedding of Brown’s daughter, Kelly, and Peter Bradrick, a former Vision Forum intern and son of homeschooling lecturers Michael and Susan Bradrick…

The merging of these two families through the marriage of their young children was featured on Web sites and blogs across the patriarchy community, capturing the moment of the couple’s first kiss at the altar, surrounded by scores of bridesmaids and groomsmen. Peter’s courtship of Kelly had begun, breathless accounts tell, with her father, whom he approached and had to win over long before he ever displayed his interest to Kelly. Peter wrote more than a dozen “position papers” for Scott Brown on everything from politics and theology to child training and marital roles for husband and wife, all backed by biblical arguments for what Peter expected from his future wife.

…

“I never told her ‘I love you,’ and I never told her she was beautiful,” explains Peter, “two things that I thought would insert an emotional flutter, an emotional element. I wanted to withhold before I made a commitment.”

(p. 232-233)

Sleep well!

Another excerpt coming soon.

(My interview with the author is here.)

Laura

That is kissing dating goodbye to a scary extreme!

Oh, and check out this quote I found:

I’m excited that less than a year after Peter and Kelly were married, they now have a son. To paraphrase Peter’s statement during our brief phone conversation, may this son grow into a man who leads God’s people to “kick in the gates of hell” (see Matthew 16:18).

From http:/cshayden.blogspot.com/2007/07/congratulations-to-peter-and-kelly.html
Jeff

It reminds me of the old joke.

Single man looking for woman with boat. Please send picture of boat.

Although in this case, it would be
Single Christian man looking for submissive Christian girl with stove. Please send picture of stove.
Paul Lundgren

And I thought getting a Catholic school education was restrictive…
hoverFrog

I have daughters. If anyone ever asks me if they could marry her and presents biblical arguments of what he expected from his future wife I may have to beat him about the head with a cudgel…unless it is an elaborate joke. Is that what Quiverfull is? An elaborate joke?
EatenByChutulu

Erm…you know, if a guy can’t tell you he loves you, kick him to the curb. Yeesh.
Margaret Y.

Keep these excerpts coming, Hemant. I love a good horror story. Scary! Very, very scary.
Mike Clawson

One thing I never understood about this whole “courtship” concept is how you’re supposed to figure out that you even want to court a girl if you’re not supposed to have any contact with her until after you’ve already made a commitment to her? All you’d have to go on is what she looks like and how well she sings in the church choir. Seems like a recipe for a lot of very superficial relationships.
Spurs Fan

One thing I never understood about this whole “courtship” concept is how you’re supposed to figure out that you even want to court a girl if you’re not supposed to have any contact with her until after you’ve already made a commitment to her? All you’d have to go on is what she looks like and how well she sings in the church choir. Seems like a recipe for a lot of very superficial relationships.

Mike,

While the Quiverfull movement may revolve around these extremes, the “courtship” idea I was presented in my former Christian community was more of the notion that you get to know the girl by talking to her and spending time with her, but always in the company of her family or good Christian friends (she never spent a lot of time with your family of course…definitely a sexist bent). While this is at least better than the type you described, it still creates sort of an artificial environment which can cause the future husband and wife to not know how to relate to each other because they have always had the “crutch” of that community.

Interestingly enough my (still) Christian wife and I spent a lot of time getting to know each other in the midst of a group of friends. This wasn’t necessarily bad (we still have good relationships with most of them), but it caused some tension later on when I “lost my faith” and we had to figure things out on our own. Thankfully, our marriage is pretty strong. I fear for others in this situation who think they may be in love with someone, but are really in love with the community. If they ever leave that community their marriage might not hold up.
Tara

That’s it. I’m never telling my boyfriend he looks nice again. Don’t want him to get cocky.