Atheist at the Gas Pump March 25, 2009

Atheist at the Gas Pump

Here’s another example of an atheist showing more understanding and good humor than a religious person in the same situation.

In the following conversation, the gas station attendant (“Me”) is talking to an uptight Christian woman (“Lady”)…:

(We are a prepay station. A little old lady walks in.)

Lady: “So what, I can’t get gas now because so many idiots drive off? What kind of world do we live in that a Christian doesn’t get treated right?”

Me: “… I’m sorry, Ma’am, we lost over 75,000 gallons of gas last year due to drive offs.”

Lady: “This is just stupid. Why don’t you just turn the damn pump on? I’m filling up, I don’t know how much it’s going to take.”

Me: “Ma’am, you can either leave your keys, a credit card, or an ID, and I’ll be more than happy to turn the pump on.”

(The lady hands me a $20 bill.)

Me: “Alright, I’ll just prepay this 20, and it’ll shut off for you when it hits 20.”

Lady: “No no no. That’s my down-payment. Turn the pump on and I’ll come pay the rest.”

(I sigh and turn the pump on, I’m really not supposed to, but at least I’ll have some money to put towards it if she drives away. The lady goes out and pumps her gas, comes back in to pay.)

Lady: “One day, the Lord is going to come down and smite everybody who doesn’t respect the Christians who live by the rules.”

Man behind her: “I’m going to be a good Atheist and prepay my gas. $15 on pump 3, please and thank you.”


Nicely handled, anonymous atheist.

(Via (The Customer Is) Not Always Right — Thanks to Lauren for the link!)

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  • rAmen. I’m sick to death of the “Christians” who think they’re perfect by virtue of the fact that they are Christians, and that everybody has to kowtow to them all the time.

  • David D.G.

    “One day, the Lord is going to come down and smite everybody who doesn’t respect the Christians who live by the rules.”

    But the whole point is that this so-called Christian was NOT living by the rules (i.e., prepaying for gas as required), or at best only very reluctantly and half-heartedly. She was just too determined to make everyone else conform to HER rules (and just too stuck-up in general), by which she should be given carte blanch no matter what, to take notice of this.

    ~David D.G.

  • Zar

    I love that site. I think this one is my favorite:

    For my next trick…

    (A woman who had gone through my line earlier that day came up to me.)

    Customer: “Give me back my g****** keys!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “My car keys! Give them back!”

    Me: “I wasn’t aware that I had them. Ma’am, are your keys lost? I can get someone to help you find them if you want.”

    Customer: “No! I know it was you who took them! I put them up on this little tray– *points to the tray next to the debit machine* “–and when I got home I couldn’t find them anywhere!”

    Me: “When…when you got home? Ma’am, did you drive home?”

    Customer: “Well, duh! What kind of idiot are you? Do you think I’m poor?” *gives a disgusted look*

    Me: “No…how did you get back here, ma’am?”

    Customer: “I drove here, of course!”

    Me: “With your car keys?”

    Customer: “Yes! Now give them back!”

    Me: “Ma’am…if I had taken your car keys, would you have been able to drive home and back here?”

    Customer: “No! But I know you took them!”

    (I then notice the keys shining in her hand.)

    Me:: “Open your hand please, ma’am?”

    Customer: *upon seeing her keys in her hand* “Oh, you little witch! What did you do, ‘magic’ them back into my hand?! What kind of store lets witches work for them?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not a witch…but you are a complete stereotypical blonde.”

    Customer: “Oh, how dare you! I demand to speak to your manager.”

    (My manager, who is a Wiccan and has been listening to this exchange for the past few minutes, comes up behind me, playing with her five-pointed star necklace.)

    Manager: *in a mystical voice* “Well, hello there, earth-walker. What can I do for you?”

    Customer: *sputters curse words and quickly storms out*

  • Polly

    I’m sorry but these anecdotes cannot, repeat CANNOT, possibly be real.

  • What Polly said. I can’t believe these are real (and yet, strangely enough, I do).

  • Todd

    I’ve worked in retail. They’re real.

  • Jeremy

    As someone who worked in retail, I can assure you that some of those, at least, are real. Of course, I’m sure they’re all embellished a little bit. 😉

  • stephanie

    Oh, I’ve done twenty years of retail. I’d say well over 95% of the entries on that site are completely believable.
    One way I can always tell a customer knows they are doing something wrong or about to attempt getting special treatment is that they get indignant right away. Dunno whether it’s because only those people with an entitlement complex try that stuff or because it’s some redirection of guilt- but it’s way too frequent to be coincidence.

  • I’ve just “finished” reading Not Always Right, going from the front all the way to the back (and it took quite a while). Wow there are many many dumb people in the world.

    Some of the posts I can see myself doing, like going into the drive through for some fast food outlet and ordering food from a different one (got distracted while thinking about the other one, and then had to order?).

    There are a few where customers go nuts declaring their christianity and yet abusing the poor shop person.

  • Faye

    Since I work in retail, I find most of those anecdotes completely believable. Granted, all of them probably have a bit of embellishment, but I’ve had to deal with a lot that’s pretty dang close.

    For example, I work at a relatively small store where daily sales totals are a BIG thing. Around the Christmas season, we had a lady come in and buy about $300 in toys and had us gift wrap them. Two days later, she came back in and demanded that we assemble the toys for her or she’d return the lot of them. If we’d been having a good season, I would have told her to cram it, but since the economic downturn was affecting our totals, my manager had me assemble all the toys for her.

    But yes, I’ve had a fair share of shitty customers, and I’ve had customers that were bad enough to make me cry. However, we also get a lot of really nice customers, most of them older people that like to chat when it’s not too busy. They usually have the best stories too. :3

  • Red

    I agree with DAvid DG…she wasn’t being very Christian-like now was she?

  • I find the stories to be far less contrived than the stories I hear in church or the religious email I get from my father.

    Like this one I have heard countless times.
    The preacher is telling the story of how a father and son and the son’s friend (unsaved) go boating only to have it capsize. The father desperately wants to save his son but he is too far away so he saves the friend (unworthy). The story goes on that the father had accepted his son’s death because his son was saved and in heaven. This gave the other boy, who is unworthy, the opportunity to make something of his life. As the preacher leaves he is met by an old man. “Great story. My son would have loved to hear it.”.
    ….It is the preacher’s story! oh my god! how could I not see that coming!

  • The atheist behind her? I think I’m in love.

  • @Red:

    Depends on what kind of Christian you’re used to. The worst speak for the rest, and all that, but man, that’s still an awful lot of bad apples.

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