I Get It. Your Penises Are Large. March 2, 2009

I Get It. Your Penises Are Large.

By Guest Contributor
March 2, 2009

I don’t know why else Sagemont Church officials would decide to erect a 170-foot cross in Houston, Texas.

That’s taller than the Statue of Liberty.

Some asked why the church made it so big. [Pastor John] Morgan said the bigger the better.

“The purpose is for people to know how special they are to God,” he said. “We want them to look at it and remember that God loves them.

I’m sure the homeless people in Houston appreciate the reminder.

You can see video of the cross here.

But you know what’s better than one giant cross?

That’s right. Another giant cross. Only a few miles away.

Just a few miles down the road, Grace Community Church plans to soon put up its own 150-foot cross along Interstate 45.

It said it is ready for the same criticism.

“With all these billboards and adult entertainment places out here, we at Grace Community decided a cross would be perfect for Houstonians,” Pastor Garrett Booth said.

Can we all pitch in and get a 200-foot tall image of the Flying Spaghetti Monster erected somewhere in Houston?

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  • How many square feet of potential housing materials is that thing made of?

  • That seems to be one of them “tells” that reveal the underlying elitist motivation…

    (referring of course to the boingboing post quoted in your last post 😀 )

  • another Mike

    All big businesses have to advertise. And these are tax exempt, too. Have we got them on the defensive?

  • «bønez_brigade»

    “Bright lights illuminate it at night.”
    Great! I’m sure the local astronomers are just _thrilled_ about this eye-sore.

    As Gunnery Sergeant Hartman would say,
    “170 feet? I didn’t know they stacked shit that high!”

  • Gotta love a religion who uses a torture device as its symbol–just what jeebus wants to see if (ha ha) he comes back; a giant CROSS.

  • yo..

    in baton rouge, louisiana, we have these:

    http://farm1.static.flickr.com/87/251583472_cc33b191d8.jpg

    You can’t see it in the photo, but what’s funny is there is a wal-mart about half a mile away and you can line it up just right while walking into the wal-mart making it look the like crosses are erected as a part of the building, it’s truly a hilariously demented image.

  • Siamang

    I like how they call it “one of the biggest crosses in the state”.

    That says all you need to know about Christianity in Texas.

    This ain’t even a record!

  • Erik

    I’m adding this to the long list of reasons I will never move to Texas. It’s bad enough being in NC…

  • Jesse

    -gasp- now it all makes sense to me! This is why we give churches tax exempt status!

  • Tyson

    Doesn’t this remind anyone of the Tower of Babel?

  • Ian

    I’m adding this to the long list of reasons I will never move to Texas. It’s bad enough being in NC…

    The whole state isn’t that bad, I swear. Austin, El Paso and Dallas (where I live) are like most major American cities. There’s religion, but it’s not overwhelming.

  • Jason R

    Maybe while they are at it they can make giant statues of Shiva, Thor, Jupiter, Baal, Teshub, Kushuh, Nergal, Ea, Enlil, Utu, Marduk, Lei Gong, Zao Jun, Zhon Kui, Osiris, Amun, Aten, Barasty, Aminon, Apu, Apocatequil, Ekkeko, Nana Buluku, Eshu, Aganju, Oba… ad infinitum…

    Teach the controversy.

  • BruceH

    The Grace cross is already up. I have a picture if anyone is interested. It’s really not that much to look at, regardless of its size. It’s just a simple cross made of steel beams and painted white. It does stand out in the sunset, however.

  • Forkboy

    Gee…..I wonder how many mouths could have been fed, or backs clothed, or children inoculated, or otherwise desperate families helped with the money these shit heads opted to spend on a giant cross?

    Do these fucks even bother to read the words their saviour said?

  • I have to disagree. They erected the crosses because they have _small_ penises (and small minds), thus the need to overcompensate.

  • SASnSA

    Actually, it looks more like they’re compensating for certain deficiencies (and considering the size of the crosses, I feel sorry for their wives).

  • How about if we collected money and gave it to the homeless in the name of the FSM?

  • Amy

    We live a few miles away from Sagemont. Unfortunately my husband has to drive by the huge cross everyday and will soon be driving by two! The cross is REALLY brightly lit at night so you can’t miss it. It bothers some homeowners in the neighborhood next to the church due to the brightness coming through their windows at night. It would have been nice if the church put that money towards Ike recovery, which is still much needed.

  • Polly

    Do these fucks even bother to read the words their saviour said?

    Definitely.
    Matthew 26:7-11

    7 a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table.
    8 When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. 9 “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.”
    10 Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. 11 The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me.

    and Mark 12:42

    42But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins,[j]worth only a fraction of a penny.[k]
    43Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

    Remember this is written in order to COMMEND her action and presumably it’s to be taken as an example.

  • Shawn

    The thing that gets me about this: Texas already has the largest cross. I discovered that one as my wife and I drove across the country on Route 40 almost ten years ago. Seeing the top of the thing beginning to rise above the horizon when not expecting it makes for a very creepy experience.

  • BaS

    Guys, guys.. It’s not about the size of their penises. It’s about the size of GOD’S PENIS.

  • I contend that if God does exist, she has no penis.

  • I say they’re compensating for something.

  • Ed

    Guys, guys.. It’s not about the size of their penises. It’s about the size of GOD’S PENIS.

    I contend that if God does exist, she has no penis.

    So it’s about the size of her vagina then? Wait a minute! Why are we talking about the size of hypothetical genitalia?

    Let’s just say they compensating for everything they lack, i.e. common sense, respect for others, and the altruism their religion claims to be teaching.

  • MMM

    Hmmmmmmmm,

    Could god makes his/her penis/breasts so large that he/she could not move it/them?

    ……..brings a new meaning to the “big bang’ theory of the origin of the universe…….

  • TXatheist

    Actually the reason most Texas men drive full size pickups is because they are insecure. Do mess with Texass

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