How Can Charles Darwin Hurt His Self Image?

By jumping the shark is a variety of ways, says David Ng at McSweeney’s.

He makes exploitative prime-time-television cameos

Darwin appears as the “man in need of a haircut” in an episode of Gossip Girl, and is the first contestant voted off Survivor: Galápagos. Eventually makes Barbara Walters’s list of most fascinating people of the year. Cries during interview.

…

Joins the Ice Capades

Darwin is hired for small part in a Lion King–themed ice show. Takes skating lessons and practices hard. Soon nails both the triple axel and the triple lutz. Is fired from the show when he tests positive for performance-enhancing drugs.

Plenty more where that came from. Ng seems to enjoy the phrase “stylish feces”…