Do Atheists Ever Get Lonely?

My first reaction to the question was “I get lonely exactly as much as a religious person.” After all, what does a god belief have to do with it? My second thought fast on the heels of the first was, “I get lonely more.” Being an atheist can cut down on your potential partners for interaction. But truth be told, I have friends who are religious. No big deal. Then the third thought arrived. “Actually I get lonely less often that religious people.” Here’s why: I don’t have any imaginary friends I rely on who keep ignoring me. So which is it? I dunno. What was the question again?

Isn’t that what internet blogs are for? Lonely – never, even before the internet. There’s always some activity to keep your brain in gear.

It might be true that religious people are less lonely because they spend their holy days among others who believe as they do.

But, the other side is that a disbelief in a god does not mean you sit at home without family, friends, hobbies or work.

When I am alone and feel the need to talk to someone, I talk to my cat. She listens as well as God does.

What some may call agony of loneliness others call the ecstasy of solitude.

I am me. Do I get lonely when I’m alone? Yeah, and then I start thinking things, or watching TV, or reading a book, or playing a game, or anything else I do to occupy my time when I’m not sharing it with others.

This question seems silly to me. Are we to assume that those with faith never feel lonely? As I see it, I fill my loneliness with things that make it easier to deal with, just like someone with faith does. The difference lies in how we do it, not what we do when faced with loneliness.

Also, I highly, highly, highly doubt that a vast majority of religious people fill their time alone only with prayer and reflection on God. I’m sure that takes up some part of their life—after all, I daydream about imaginary situations, so why can’t they do the same with their own daydreams.

I am reminded me of the witticism:

An atheist is someone who has no-one to talk to while receiving a blowjob.

But, then again,

“A witticism is an epigram on the death of feeling” — Friedrich Nietzsche

I get lonely less often than I used to. As a religious person I always felt guilty (and I mean debilitatingly guilty) for not living up to the expectations of my religion. I was sure that everyone around me, or at least the people I would care to associate with, were doing much better than I was in the eyes of the Lord. Clearly no-one would want to associate with a hopeless sinner like me.

This is not a problem I have any more as an atheist.

I can be lonely. I’m around people all the time though. At work I talk to people and fix their computer problems all day. Afterward, I go to class, which has 30-50 people in it, depending on the night. I come home and spend time with my family, then do things on the weekend with them and occasionally my friends. I talk to people on the podcast over at thinkatheist.com every Saturday, but I still find myself lacking anyone to really connect to in person. The internet has certainly been a boon, but it seems like the atheists I meet in person are still few and far between. So, am I lonely in general? Not at all. But I do wish there were more people I could connect to on these topics.

God makes a pretty lousy imaginary friend.

I have much less interaction with people who stress me out, judge me and expect things of me.

I have much more interaction with people who are excited to go see R-rated movies, play video games and talk about metaphysics, sex, and philosophy. I see fewer people, but the ratio of people I want to see / people I’m obliged to see has improved drastically.

I thrive on moments of solitude, and I could actually do with a bit *more* “alone time” lately.

It’s funny I do feel lonely..but not when one thinks. I feel lonely when I am driving and see the second Sylvia Brown billboard in a row for her shows at the nearby casino on the freeway. I feel lonely when I am in a group and they are misquoting the bible while showing each other how religious they are. I feel lonely when I am in a group of people in an older house and someone asks if the place is haunted…and is serious. I feel alone when Fox news can ask the question “does Obama refering the Non-believers offend you?” without a second thought. I feel alone when people say Jefferson was a religious man. It’s at these time I feel lonely..but what gets me through it is the knowledge that I am not alone.

I’ve got two cats and a wife. Amazingly that seems to be sufficient social interaction that I don’t feel the need for an imaginary friend to keep my company when I work from home by myself as I often do (and am doing right now). If/when I do feel lonely, I have non-imaginary friends with whom I can spend time.

Absolutely not! It wasn’t until I started questioning my faith and moving more towards agnostic and atheist that I became less lonely. Granted, I was lonely and religious in high school, which can be a lonely time for many people. But, I didn’t really have friends I related to, as I was never as SUPER-Jeebus as they were, and I was never really the submissive, lovely, christian girl that religious guys wanted to date. Now, as an atheist, I think I’m less-lonely than I ever have been in my whole life; Happier, too.

Kenken. I’ve spent over an hour working on a 9×9.

No, there are no voices in my head that aren’t me.

My husband is currently working 16 hour days in an effort to restore power that was lost to people in our state by the recent ice storm. My two children go to bed at 7:30PM. So yeah, last night at 8:00 PM when the girls were in bed and it was just me and my little candle staring at a dark house.. I was lonely as hell. Now, if I hadn’t been sitting there without power, I would’ve been lonely in the sense that I missed my husband, but I would’ve been a little more ‘okay’ because at least I could’ve listened to the raving lunatics on Xbox Live or attached myself to a message board. lol

Zephyr – I understand what you mean about the need to be alone, and that kept me single at times, too. However, I have been lucky lately in that I have been involved with someone who A) also wants time to be alone and therefore does not begrudge me mine, and B) has her own interests and activities, so that we are able to do our own things when we wish. It works out well, but I have had experiences to the contrary in the past.

I have to admit, the first night after I admitted to myself honestly that I had returned to being an atheist (since we’re all born atheists) I felt a bit alone, in the sense that I was a tiny human in the vastness of the cosmos type alone. It was like my first night as an adult without my security blanket of God.

Internet.

I’m self-employed working from home with no social life because I work 12-16 hours a day 7 days a week. So yeah I get lonely from time to time but I have my family, a few close friends, and a menagerie of pets. Dog is far better at relieving loneliness than God (and is far cuter and cuddlier).

I doubt I get lonely any more often than a religious person in my situation would.

I used to get lonely. Before I left my religious beliefs behind, I was often lonely and felt even more depressed by unanswered prayers and pressure from loved ones whose only advice was to “talk to God”.
Since becomming an atheist, I seem to fill my time much better with books and blogs and news. And, having a gigantic community of nonbelievers doesn’t hurt either!

i’ve been lonely when i was christian and as an atheist. if ur stuck at home and can’t get out to meet people i suggest plentyoffish.com

I have my wife,other family members and friends. I don’t need to imagine some special entity somewhere out there to keep from being lonely.

my long term boyfriend “brought” me into atheism (i use that word as loosely as possible, not in the god sense). when we broke up, of course i was lonely, and in the absence of my boyfriend, thought about turning to god.

i figured out that i didn’t believe in god any more after we broke up than when we were together, but the need for someone to listen unconditionally was still there. that’s why, imo, people have a god in the first place and why they feel it (he?) is so hard to give up.

everyone gets lonely, it’s just some people, like atheists, read a book, find more friends, or write in a journal instead of taking empty solace in someone who isn’t there.

It’s uncomfortabnle to admit, but I get freqient intense ’bouts of loneliness. I generally avoid mentioning it online/on forums because the religious will pop up all “you need god!”

no.
I need to make more friends. The problem is I’m quite shy, there’s not much of an actual atheist community in canberra (that doesn’t cost $30 a month to even find info about).

To rememdy this. I am making friends, I’ve got 3 awesome pets, my housemates and I do have my close friends who…happen to not live in the same state/country as me anymore.

Sometimes. I don’t have a lot of friends, just some realy meaningful. Also, I get to read blogs, participate in forums, study, work, which is pretty interactive. I feel lonely sometimes, but there is too much to do to feel bad.

By the way, you’re not alone. Many people look at you, many look up to you. You are one of many that reminds us non-believers that in this world of biggotry and delusion, we’re not alone.

I do get lonely sometimes, but no more than when I was a born-again Christian. And since I’ve recently found Dog, I’m never alone. Dog is on the floor beside me at this moment. God, on the other hand, was never there.

It’s odd, but for someone who felt terribly lonely a great deal as a child, I tend to prefer solitude. It’s not that I don’t like being around people, but I find it kind of tiring. I need time apart from even the people I love a lot.
The long and short of it, I think, is that if I did believe in God I’d probably get sick of Him being around all the time.

Yes.

I agree with somebody above who mentioned how human it is too feel loneliness. It doesn’t require a belief system (or non-belief system). We each just have to find our own personal “cures” for it when it happens to us. It’s a sign of feeling isolated. Keeping busy is a great way to fight the “self-pity” that comes along with bouts of loneliness. For me, buying myself flowers helps…such an extravagance. Or calling a friend/family member gets me “out of my own head”.

I tend to be a solitary person by choice…somebody else mentioned above that they tend to seek time alone rather than with others. I guess I lean that way myself. I have to force myself to “be social” sometimes. To get out of my comfort zone. To take a few risks.

Yes, but I can’t really complain. Being lonely because you live in the middle of nowhere and are the only single person in town is far better than being lonely while surrounded by a sea of people who act like your BFF on Sunday mornings and ignore you the rest of the week.

Although there is grave stone in the cemetry opposite riverdale zoo for rev john parker my great great grand father who started a church in t.o .,that is still in operation today I stopped believing in god when I was 10 years old and after 58 years I have not changed my thinking . MY grandfather must rolling in his grave.DougParker

This might have been said already but my solution is much simpler and more interactive than talking to a invisible god; that is to talk with my cats.

Cats and Dogs are great listeners. They will always listen and will usually not interrupt. 🙂

Cats and Dogs are great listeners. They will always listen and will usually not interrupt.

In my experience with my cats this would be “usually not interrupt. Except when it’s really, really important. Like when attention has to be called to the fact that you won’t shut up and play with/pet/feed me. Also birds and bugs.”

Everyone gets lonely sometimes..

I feel lonely in the respect that out of the thousands upon thousands of people I have met so few hold my points of view. They have no urge to expand their knowledge or to soak up real information.

I feel very lonely in that people cannot look beyond their house, street or country. While I want to look beyond our galaxy and our universe.

Being an atheist makes me very fulfilled to be alone and desperately lonely around other people.

I actually found this post by typing “being an atheist is lonely”

Most of the time I feel like I’m being civil and respectful of other people’s belief of fundamentals. I actually feel like I’m talking to children who still believe in santa and have to try very hard not to spoil the secret.

I feel the same, I have religious friends and we all get along great. But they don’t even want to expand their horizons where as I want to learn so much about as much as possible. They don’t want to question their beliefs and I feel very uncomfortable when we start on the subject because  I feel like im walking on glass to avoid confontation. All except for one or two of my relatives are religious and pretty deep into it so that kind of leaves them out of the picture. My parents are great and my mom agrees with me and dad just kind of sits and stares. I feel alone more and more often lately since I came to this realization.