Friendly Atheist Contest #39: Future Atheist Ads

Last time, I ran this contest:

The atheist bus ads are now in full force over in England.

It begs the question:

Where else will we be seeing ads about atheism in the future?

Here are the Top 5 answers (with submitters):

On milk cartons. (Hemant’s note: I assume they would say: “God is missing” or something like that.)

(Random Chimp)

The Pope’s hat.

It’s a perfect place for advertising space. And after losing all that money in child-abuse lawsuits, he has to make up the lost revenue somehow.

(Chris Morse)

Disclaimer on inside cover of Bibles (a la Cobb County): “This storybook contains material on ‘god’. ‘god’ is a theory, not a fact, regarding the nature of the universe. This material should be approached with an open mind, studied carefully and critically considered.”

(Andrew)

In the bedroom: “Don’t shout falsehoods while making love”

(Allytude)

One word: Skywriting

(Bill M.)

…

Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!

…

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

Barack Obama has taken a presidential oath without a Bible. He mentioned non-believers in his Inaugural Address.

In what way will President Obama reach out to atheists next?

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

"STILL..."

Troublesh00ter

FL Restaurant Owner Will Ignore Vaccine ..."

"Not all those from Florida have that voice in our heads. Mine sounds like a ..."

KaZmatazz

"I thought she was too busy giving away 50 caliber crew serve weapons and blowing ..."

NotAgain Delightful Bītch

Can a Middle School Principal Be ..."

"Not to mention teachers have been fired for merely being seen at a bar having ..."

Kevin Pennington

Nicole

With his hand. Preferably the hand would be holding a cheque, but a handshake or high-five would be good, too.
Susan B.

He’ll join up with Kay Hagan and they’ll make a Blasphemy Challenge video together.
ubi dubius

Not the way some priests reach out to their flock.

I hope.
ubi dubius

He keeps reaching out to me for $25, or just $10, or even just $5, to Help America Hope for Change. I suppose he’ll just keep doing that.
Ubi Dubium

Fist bump with Richard Dawkins!
Barack Obama

I will be seen wearing a “Friendly Atheist” bracelet in public. If I win.
Josh Pawlikowski

‘With his noodly appendage.’

…at which point, he may be sued for sexual harassment.
Jeff

He will declare Christian babies as the “other white meat”.
Epistaxis

He’ll come out as one.
Diego

Obama will tell the pope to fuck off.

In a more presidential way.
Teleprompter

With his right hand. With his left hand.

With both hands for a better future of cooperation and progress.
Andre Pena

President Obama will finally legalize baby eating.
Javier

Government bailout for the shrinking baby market.
Eliza

In what way will President Obama reach out to atheists next?

Hopefully not in the Way of the Master…
Cannonball Jones

I reckon he’ll reinforce the idea of separation of church and state by physically transplanting all churches, mosques and other places of worship to man-made floating prayer-barges in international waters off the coast of the United States.

(Although to be honest I’d get more of a giggle out of Diego’s suggestion…)
Gunnar Øyro

He will wear his yellow wristband, just as I am going to now! :))
hoverFrog

He’ll start funding for dinosaur cloning so that he can have a deinonycus to ride round the White House on. In the interest of science of course.

—

Joking aside, if not pandering the the religious right is reaching out to atheists then he shoudl just carry on as he is.
weaves

Eating a baby.
HumanistDad

Obama will be photographed reaching out to help an atheist, who tripped and fell, just at the point where their fingertips touch.
B-Rock

Hey homies! Barack Obama here. How’s this for reaching out?
Paul

Pete Stark gets reach-around on national TV.
Scotty B

Ha! Skywriting, I like that one. I can see it now:

“I PROBABLY DON’T EXIST
-GOD”
JTorch

From behind.
postsimian

In an effort to balance faith-based initiatives, FriendlyAtheist.com becomes eligible for federal grants.
Doug Stewart

Headline: President Obama promotes science and reaches out to non-believers by declaring February 12th, Darwin’s Birthday as ‘National Bitch Slap a Creationist Day’.
J Myers

I’m afraid it won’t be quite as rosy as many of you depict… you think he’s closing Gitmo? He’s just making space….
Scott

Burning crosses. Er, wait, that might not work…
Mr. Vorhias

Hemant Mehta as head of the Food & Drug Administration.
Luther Weeks

He will start one day without going to church.
Joe

He’ll start signing into law some Reason Based Initiatives.
Allytude

Yippee I won!

He will hold a baby-barbecue.
Andrew

Upon meeting the pope, Mr. President will reach out his hand for a handshake, and just as ol’ Ratzy reciprocates, Obama pulls his hand away and says “Psyche!”
Wes

His administration’s position towards “faith-based initiatives” will be “abstinence only”.
Ann

That’s not what “beg the question” means.

(Sorry, I got nothin’ but my philosophy degree and my mad editing skillz.)
Jeb

He’ll acknowledge that we don’t acknowledge the national motto “In God We Trust.” Unfortunately, since it’ll be hard to convince the rest of them to retract it, he’ll just issue a new line of currency for us that doesn’t bear the phrase. The different levels of currency will be depicted by different levels of evolved organisms, with the least evolved being on the smallest-value currency, and so forth. The one-cent piece will bear a semblance of an amoeba, while the depiction on the $10,000 bill will be for homo sapiens (bearing the semblance of Darwin, of course!). He’ll require all retailers to accept this new currency, and while they remain idly baffled, our private atheistic economy will soar.
J Myers

…least evolved…

If you’re referring to extant organisms (as you appear to be), then there’s no such thing; everything alive today is equally evolved.
Chelsea

By publicly denying the existence of hell, satan and Dick Cheney. 😉
Clare

Um, the atheist buses were not just in England but were launched ‘nationwide’. That is:

A total of 200 bendy buses in London and 600 buses across England, Scotland and Wales will carry the slogan from today and tomorrow following a fundraising drive which raised more than £140,000.

Please stop leaving out the rest of the UK. 🙁