We have two of them for you today.
The first is a free service. Jesus will answer your questions!

I asked Jesus who was going to win the presidential election.
I didn’t get the response I wanted…:
Dear Hemant,
Though some of us here at JustAskJesus.com do have our favorite candidate we simply cannot predict who will win. Do you have a particular candidate you would like to see win?
In light of not being able to predict the future and answer your question, here is a little background on who we are:
While going to church is a visible, tangible expression of our love and worship toward God, the majority of Christians only go to church at most once every 4 months. For those that aren’t able to go to church on a regular basis, up until now the ministries on TV might have been the only kind of spiritual nourishment that they could get. Now Just Ask Jesus is intended to provide that same spiritual nourishment to all Christians worldwide. God certainly understands the circumstances of these people that can not attend church on a regular basis, and recognizes their sincerity. Just Ask Jesus will only strengthen people’s faith everyday!
Just Ask Jesus is not meant to replace going to church. We can not say this enough. We are here to help spread the word of the Christianity. Many potential Christians will never go to church because they are scared or unsure how to go about it. Many potential believers have questions; questions about god, and their faith in religion. But, most people often feel comfortable in their home, where no one can see them if they “ask a dumb question”. Just Ask Jesus is now available to help convert these people to everyday believers and regular churchgoers.
Together we will help spread the word of our belief and we will be here for our friends and family and ourselves when we question our faith or to help spread the words to our loved ones!!
Don’t forget to vote!
God Bless,
JustAskJesus.com
Jesus’ followers just sent me a form letter 🙁
You may have more fun with a theological question, though.
(via Topic Agnostic)
…
The other is Spiritual Water… I assume to go with your communion wafers.

Man, Gatorade ain’t got nothing on Saviorade.
(Thanks to Matthew for the link!)
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