The Book of Leviticus Explains the Rules for Riding Shotgun

I can’t seem to find the following in my copies of the Bible… but it’s on the Internets, so it has to be true:

… 2 The owner of the vehicle shall always be the pilot, unless leprosy hath taken his legs. The pilot must always wear a safety girdle. 3 He who wishes to have the second-best seat may only declare so after leaving the door of the temple, the tax collector’s house, a den of iniquity, or any other place. He, too, shall wear a safety girdle. 4 If two men declare the seat at the same time and neither agrees to abide in the back, they shall each kill one bullock and offer its head at the altar…

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… 11 May it also be known that if it is a man’s birthday, he holds the right to the seat. This is the law. 12 Neither women nor slaves may ever have the second-best seat…

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… 15 If three men are riding on a camel, they shall follow the same rules but shall take long, hard looks at themselves, because people will suspect they come from Sodom.

(via McSweeney’s)


[tags]Christian[/tags]