“Jesus, please exorcise the demons from this iPhone. Mommy says that anything that does this many things is of the devil”
Scorpious
“Lord Our God, please, oh, please, oh, please make our parents get us each an iPhone of our own.”
Jake
Thou shalt have no other phones before me.
Chris
“Romans 2:15, And the Shepherd, the Lord Jesus Christ, shall rise again. He shall have a durable outer casing and several nifty features like video capability and a touch screen. And He shall be Good.”
Justin
iGod which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
Thy network come, Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily 3G.
And forgive us our phone bill, as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into dead zones, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the
network, and the power, and the shininess, for ever. iMen
Justin jm
How about Judges 1:19?
The Lord was with Judah, and drove out the inhabitants of the valley, but could not drive out the people of the mountains, because they had new iPhone 3Gs.
J Myers
iPhones are not Great
How Apple Poisons Everything
Some of the applications that I’ve uploaded since upgrading my iPhone software have caused the device to crash on me a couple of times, but it always rises again after the third minute.
SarahH
The schism between Mac and PC users can be almost as tense and heated as the divide between atheists and theists! Perhaps these innocent children are praying for peace, harmony and tolerance between all users of computers technology…
Then again, they might simply be rubbing their hands together, scheming to get mummy and daddy to buy them each an iPhone ASAP.
“We’re still waiting on that whole ‘second coming’ thing… oh, the 3G iPhone is out? Well, that’s it then, enjoy being raptured!”
The iPhone is correctly called the Jesus Phone (a la Stephen Colbert); amazing qualities are attributed to it and evidence of these things only convince the believers. Everybody else just laughs and resumes reading their copy of “the iPhone delusion.”
elf_man
“Hey God, can you hear me now?
Oh wait, this shit isn’t verizon.”
Andrew C.
iPhone
Bigger Than The Beatles
Bigger Than Jesus
Meg
Somebody beat me to claiming the source material, but here’s what I’d planned to post:
Our Steve, who art in Cupertino,
Hallowed by thy reality distortion field…
Dear Jesus, thank you for creating a digital version of your words and wisdom to guide us through these dark and trying times in our childhood. Granny still doesn’t have a computer yet and mom and pop still don’t know how to text message, but we are certain you will show them the way. Amen.
Oh, and God, why isn’t your contact number already programmed into this immaculate phone?! Just curious… we didn’t know if you were available for text praying or not…Amen
