Create Your Own Religion

The Washington Post‘s Style Invitational column has a contest this week that some of you may want to enter:

Coin a religion or belief system and tell us its basic tenet or distinguishing characteristic.

They mention George Carlin‘s “Frisbeetarianism” (the belief that when you die, your soul is flung onto a roof and just stays there) as an example.

I’m sure Pastafarianism would apply as well.

Winners get fun swag, too!

Winner gets the Inker, the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives “Brides Behaving Badly,” a collection of wedding photos from what must have been the alumnae of the Tonya Harding School of Elegant Deportment and Apparel.

Other runners-up win their choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt or yearned-for Loser Mug. Honorable Mentions get one of the lusted-after Style Invitational Magnets.

The info on where to submit entries is here. You have until next Monday. Get to work!

This site’s readers better represent…

(Thanks to Diane for the link!)

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Ubi Dubium

Thanks, Hemant, for posting this!

I’ve already submitted these to the Post:

United Church of the Virgin (Atlantic)
Your ticket to heaven is guaranteed, barring Acts of God, terrorism, or an Angels’ Union strike. Your flight to heaven will have a layover in your choice of purgatory: either Chicago O’Hare, or Atlanta. And you definitely cannot take it with you, since all baggage winds up in Dallas, regardless.

The Spamites
You will be saved if you forward this e-mail to ten of your friends as God commands. Also, you will receive 10% of a 23.6 million dollar bank account God left for you in Nigeria…

Nintendominicans: Wii would like you to have faith.

Geezerism: I don’t care about going to Heaven, just get the Hell off my lawn!

Cult of the Empress
The elect receive Perpetual Ink. Those who fall short receive a random piece of crap, and that’s really the best you can hope for in life anyway.

(That one is directed at the Empress of the Style Invitational, who is both moderator and judge of the contest).
_______________________________________
You will be up against a rather devoted crowd of losers, some of whom are rather obsessive about entering the Invitational every week.

Oh, and the Inker looks quite a bit like Rodin’s Thinker, except that he has a bag over his head. (And he’s sitting on a toilet.)

Have at it! (And if anybody can come up with what the McCainaanites believe, you are welcome to submit it!)
David D.G.

Someone’s going to have to work very hard and be really creative (and possibly on just the right drugs) to create a fully-invented religion that tops the insanity of Mormonism and Scientology. By comparison, Frisbeetarianism is part of the conservative mainstream.

~David D.G.
Steve Caldwell

It’s worth mentioning that the Unitarian Universalists have an adult religious education course called “Building Your Own Theology.”

Building Your Own Theology (three volume set)
http://www.uuabookstore.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=714
Polly

I’ll have more to say later, but for now I’ll just mention that before I ever learned about it from Mormons, I always imagined that I had made many of life’s decision in what they call the “pre-existence.” I always imagined (didn’t believe) myself choosing a body and personality and weighing my various options for life on Earth before being born. I was amazed and a little disappointed when I heard the Mormon idea.

Man, no whacky thing I think up is original; religion always beats me to it! 🙁
Ubi Dubium

Well, they’ll be looking for short and funny. Puns and other clever wordplay usually help, too.
ubi dubius

Rhythm Methodists: The fastest growing religion in the world! Members are sometimes called procreationists.
Rev. Bob

This is way too in-joke, but all you psych majors may enjoy MMPItarian: if your soul frequently leaves your body and there’s something wrong with your sex organs, you have a home with us.