The Baby Jesus June 25, 2008

The Baby Jesus

By Guest Contributor
June 25, 2008

Look at the picture below and see if you can figure out where this story is going…

ultrasound.gif

Monet Sledge, from Lorain, Ohio, got an ultrasound in preparation for her first baby and was shocked when she saw what appeared to be an image of Christ on the Cross…

…

“As soon as I saw it I was like oh my gosh.”

“People say maybe my baby is gonna be blessed and maybe it is a good sign,” said mother-to-be Sledge. “I don’t know, I’ve done wrong in my life, maybe he’s forgiven me early.”

Apparently, pregnancy makes a woman delusional…

But wait… that happened back in April.

Where, you may ask, is Sonogram Jesus now?

He’s in Miami.

You have to really squint for this one:

ultrasound2.JPG

What does the mom say?

[Amy] Janer said the face of Jesus can be seen, with the beard leaning against the baby.

…

Janer said she and her husband are devout Catholics, but not fanatical. They wanted to share their story in hopes of strengthening the faith of others, she said.

Sadly, her genes will pass on to this poor, poor baby…

…

Actually, you know what’s really sad?

Reader Paul sent me an email about Ultrasound Jesus. The link he included didn’t work. So I Googled the story. And 238742324 stories appeared about women seeing Jesus in their ultrasounds…

Oy.

(Thanks to Paul for the link!)


[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment

  • Anyone else think the baby looks like it’s sprouting horns in the second image?

  • I must admit that was my first thought too.

  • Samuel Skinner

    Isn’t having a kid with another person grounds for divorce?

  • 238 million hits? Jesus must really like uteruses.

  • Yes, I thought it was Satan in the second picture too.

    But my first thought upon seeing what looks like (to me) Christ on the cross in the first picture:

    “Man – it’s gonna really hurt to pass that thing!

  • Christophe Thill

    All those women trying to make us believe that Jesus is in their womb… Do they think they’re virgins, or what?

  • Andrew

    I have to admit, the first picture made me think of goatse before anything else.

    Too much time on the interwebs…

  • Richard Wade

    Isn’t the mother at all concerned that her baby looks like Karl Rove and has a giant hole in its head? Well, I guess if Jesus could squeeze into Mary’s uterus he can still do it to other women. That’s kinda getting intimate. Does he ask their permission first?

    “Cindy?”
    “Who’s there?”
    “It’s the Lord, Cindy.”
    “WTF!? Randy, if that’s you I’m gonna kick your ass. Where have you been? You got me pregnant!”
    “It’s Jesus, Cindy. I want to enter your womb.”
    “Enter my womb!? I’ve had enough of that from Randy!”
    “Not that way, Cindy. I will be deep inside of you, touching your very soul.”
    “Men. Always braggin’.”
    “I want to bless your baby, Cindy.”
    “Bless it? How about pay for it? Change its diapers?” Help me raise it? Bring it up to not be like Randy?”
    “Cindy, relax and I will give you ecstasy.”
    “Yeah, that’s what Randy said, but it was no big deal. And now where the hell is he?”
    “No, not that kind of ecstasy, Cindy. I mean spiritual ecstasy.”
    “Listen, Mister Spooky Voice From Nowhere, you stay outa my womb. There’s been enough traffic in there lately.”
    “Alright, Cindy. I will bless your baby from outside.”
    “If you could do that, why didn’t you just do it from the outside in the first place?”
    “……..”
    “Yeah, I thought so. You gotta thing for wombs.”
    “Bless you and your baby, Cindy.”
    “Whatever. Listen, if you really wanta help, Get Randy to come back and do the right thing.”
    “I’ll see what I can do, Cindy.”
    “Oh if you use that spooky voice from nowhere thing, he’ll come runnin’, I’m sure of it.”
    “Alright, Cindy.”

  • David Crespo

    It had to be Hialeah, it just had to.

  • Brandon

    I have to admit, the first picture made me think of goatse before anything else.

    You are not alone.

  • Ron in Houston

    It’s those dreaded hormones. It makes them crazy I tell you.

  • hahahahaha. These get better every time.

    Has anybody stood up a ‘WheresJesus” site? Decent spin off of the Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego concept, if you ask me.

  • Well, I belive it’s preferable an avalanche of Ultrasound Jesus to a French-Fried Jesus in every order of fries.

    Ultrasounds are not to be eaten, so that won’t take away a pleasure of life.

  • RobL

    I didn’t see Christ in the second picture but the baby looks like Mahatma Ghandi. Wonder what Christ and Ghandi are talking about in there.

  • Richard,

    LOL. That is wrong on so many levels. You need to get some sleep… 😉

  • Maybe it’s the ANTI-christ. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Xeonicus

    I don’t see it…. is that one of those things you have to cross your eyes and quint really hard at?

  • JohnB

    There is actually a term for this phenomenon: pareidolia, a type of apophenia, which means basically seeing something significant in an otherwise insignificant object. Seeing Jesus’ face in a grilled cheese sandwich, the virgin Mary in a tortilla, or a monkey god in a scarred tree trunk are all examples of pareidolia. Leonardo Da Vinci called it eidetic vision.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pareidolia

  • Skylar

    Actually, the first one looked like a Cyanide and Happiness character to me because of the semi-circle at the bottom that looks like legs. I could see the cross, but not any person on it. So it makes him look like he’s bowing, like “Yep. I fucked her.”

    Perhaps this actually foretells that the kid will die in a freak accidental crucifiction? Why are visions of Jesus supposed to always be good things?

  • Desert Son

    I can’t even see Jesus (or the crucifix, or whatever) in the first ultrasound, let alone the second, although the image of the baby in the second is much clearer.

    Maybe it’s time for my annual eye check up? Or is it like those hologram poster things that were popular several years back in the 90s where you had to sort of look “past” the poster to see the sailboat or whatever.

    Come to think of it, I wasn’t very good at those, either.

    No kings,

    Robert

  • I already feel sorry for this kid… he/she (I didn’t catch the sex of it) will be entering a world that has televised his/her sonogram and dubbed it “divine”.

    They might be raising the next Charles Manson as a result…I mean, they are aluding that this kid is divine and “blessed of god”. Charles Manson thought he was jesus for christ’s sake!

    I can see the disaster coming…so sad.

  • weaver

    First one looks like goatse to me

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