Atheists: Be Careful What You Wear to Church

It’s a mixed bag. Almost all the older people dress up and some of the 30- also dress up. A few young people (20-) dress really down, jeans, T-shirts, sneakers.

When I go, it’s Dockers and a button down shirt, no tie, and tucking-in is optional for me.
My wife – pretty much the same, except her pants aren’t Dockers.

(Happily, we BOTH have resisted the pressure to go to church for months – even on Easter!)

Nice suits and dresses are standard at Jewish synagogues too. The various times I’ve gone to Catholic mass, I put on a suit jacket as I would have when I used to go to synagogue, and it was a bit too much.

Wear a suit to the local UU church and you’ll stand out like a sore thumb. Especially in the summer in Texas.

I went to a catholic church with my grandparents often when I was a little kid. All of the males wore a suit and tie. If you were old enough to walk, you were old enough for a tie.

Fast forward 30 years and I’m in a catholic church again for a special rememberance mass somethingorother.

There I am, feeling uncomfortable in my grief, surrounded by woo woo people, feeling uncomfortable with a tie, and feeling uncomfortable because everyone else is in jeans?! Since when did people wear jeans to church?

Two days later, the funeral is at a catholic chapel. Not wanting to be the fool, I arrive confidently casual. Wtf?! Everyone is in suits again! Not only am I in a real period of grief, but I have to feel really self conscious the whole time.

My son and DIL were lapsed Catholics, and originally had a civil ceremony. Several years later they became more active churchgoers and decided they would remarry at Easter Midnight Mass. Easter. A wedding. You dress up.
I was the only one in the church wearing a dress, and that included the several brides lined up for the 5 minute wedding portion of the 3-hour program.
My son said “That’s my mom. If you can’t join ’em, outclass them.”

While I am sure this is the trend for all chruches…to be moving towards a more casual church attire standard…I am sure it still depends on the actual sect.

As someone pointed out already…you are still expected to wear a dress or skirt…or shirt and tie at a mormon service. Not required, mind you…and they tend to be understanding if you cannot. but still, you will look out of place with the mormons if you go casual.

Obviously, dress varies tremendously by religion. I live near an Orthodox Jewish synagogue, and even in 100 degree heat you see all these people walking to service in heavy black suits, dresses, and hats. Some even walk a couple of miles, and the discomfort must be ungodly.

One time my parents were helping me with a move, and I had no idea that their church had started doing saturday evening services. They dragged me along and I couldn’t say no with them helping out. So I was there in shorts and a death metal t-shirt.

It didn’t look particularly blasphemous or anything (or my parents wouldn’t see it anyway), but it was still a bit awkward.

Damaris,

“That’s my mom. If you can’t join ‘em, outclass them.”

Please thank your son for a great line that I’ll enjoy using in many contexts.

Karen,

One rule: If you’re in a working class church, where people wear company uniforms or jeans to work, they’ll tend to dress up for Sunday services. If you’re in an upper-class church, where the congregation has a high proportion of professionals who wear ties and suits all week, they will dress down on Sundays.

The principle is to distinguish the Sunday clothes from the work week attire.

So it sounds like the point is to make a distinction between Sunday life and REAL life.

When I was a kid, we attended a fairly restrictive church. You weren’t supposed to wear make-up or jewelry, and you weren’t supposed to be vain and frivolous and waste money on expensive clothing, etc.

But if it was *for church*, that was different. After all, going to church is to glorify god, right? Gotta do your best for god!

So while there was still no make-up and no “jewelry”, there were plenty of women in $300 dresses (in the 80s) and diamond hairclasps or broaches (because somehow those weren’t jewelry). Expensive watches were much in style for both genders, and of course the guys were dressed as expensively as the women. None of which was vanity, you understand, it was all for the glory of GOD! [gag]

Then I moved to Tennessee and met the woman who dressed herself and her 6-year-old twins in homemade clothes that covered literally from neck to wrist and ankle in the summer heat . . . . Gave me an appreciation for the girls wearing party dresses to church.

The church I sometimes attend has a “come as you are” policy to try to attract the unchurched. I once basically wore crocks, bathing suite, and beach-shirt to service. When the pastor asked me about it, I proudly said that we are to “come as we are” and this is how I was. 🙂 He couldn’t argue with that!!!

I have a theory. My theory goes like this: these days, there are more women than men who go to church- and they are probably the ones dressing the kids. Women prefer not to dress up, because for women to dress up once a week costs much, much more than for men to do the same.* Perhaps they also don’t want to buy dress shoes for six year olds.

*And they have to wear pantyhose. Fucking pantyhose.

So it sounds like the point is to make a distinction between Sunday life and REAL life.

Yeah, pretty much to make Sunday a “special” day and to differentiate church attendance from the work day.

I’ll tell you one thing, I’ve never seen such fancy Sunday clothes as I did when attending a small black church in a low-income neighborhood as part of a special racial reconciliation program. The women were in feathered hats, white gloves, nylons and pumps with matching bags. A whole group of older women dressed all in identical white suits and hats were seated together as honorees in the front rows. The men wore three-piece suits with pocket handkerchiefs and highly shined shoes. Man, they were great-looking!

This was much dressier than anything people in my middle- to upper-class white church wore – by far – even though we had a moderately formal church (not a sandals-and-shorts congregation).

I wore it “under-cover”. I didn’t yet want to “blow my cover” for the Christian Small Group I participate in. There is also a “friendly” aspect to me in that I didn’t want to overtly mock their beliefs in their house of worship.

On other thoughts…

WWJW (what would Jesus wear?) Remember Jesus was always nicely dressed. Polished shoes, creased dress pants, starched shirt, coat & tie, short cropped hair, clean shaven, and patriotic lapel pin.

In “rebelling against Jesus” (as the Christians probably think I do) I try to do the opposite: comfortable shoes, loosely fitting casual clothes, and I question the politics of the current administration…

When I go with my family to church we all dress nice. Not too nice but no jeans or t-shirts. My family’s church is a laid-back modern Catholic church where you see people both dressed up and dressed down. I still cannot make myself wear anything that shows the shoulders in church. I have this leftover Catholic feeling that it’s immoral in house a worship.

I would dress up in any church or temple I go to, just to show respect for the people that are there.

When I was a teenager constantly obsessing about my appearance and usually running late because of it, my mother would say, “God doesn’t care what you look like.” One Sunday, I finally had enough and asked, “Then why can’t I wear jeans?”