Equal Rights for Everyone!

Except women.

Because… you know… Jesus didn’t appoint one as an apostle.

Therefore, screw ’em.

The Vatican issued its most explicit decree so far against the ordination of female priests on Thursday, punishing them and the bishops who try to ordain them with automatic excommunication.

…

A Vatican spokesman said the decree made the church’s existing ban on female priests more explicit by clarifying that excommunication would follow all such ordinations.

…

Rev. Tom Reese, a senior fellow at the Woodstock Theological Center at Georgetown University, said he thought the decree was meant to send a warning to the growing number of Catholics who favor admitting women to the priesthood.

“I think the reason they’re doing this is that they’ve realized there is more and more support among Catholics for ordaining women, and they want to make clear that this is a no-no,” Reese said.

As submitter infideljoe writes: “Archie Bunker would be so proud.”

This all makes me wonder what role women are allowed to play in the Catholic Church…

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Troublesh00ter

Awesomesauce

My girlfriend probably won’t think anything of it. She’s simultaneously the best/worst Catholic I know. Then again, I guess I’m the worst Catholic as I don’t even believe in a goddess.

Gotta love the whole baptism at birth thing.
Kate

This all makes me wonder what role women are allowed to play in the Catholic Church…

Remember the robot maid from the Jetsons? It’s that, but with an incubator in the abdominal area. Advanced models come complete with a fleshlight stuck somewhere on the bottom! Sure, life under the thumb of an oppressive patriarchal mega-cult sucks, but it’s worth it if only for these nifty futuristic space suits!
Kori

I wonder if anyone will actually pay attention. Maybe they’ll realize how archaic and out of the dark ages that church still remains.
Sean the Blogonaut

The only role the church wants women to play is the one where they lie on their back.
Josha

This was a big problem I had with the Catholic Church when I was a believer. It’s tough for a young feminist being raised in the Catholic religion.

It became clear to me in 7th grade on vocation day. All the area Catholic schools met in one church and we were taught about the various vocations within the church. The beginning was fun. But then they split up the boys and girls.The nuns were nice but boring. They lived secluded lives. The boys came back telling of all the fun they had with the priests and their great stories. I was so jealous. And I always hated being told I couldn’t do something.
Grimalkin

So if women can’t be priests because Jesus was male, does that mean:

-only Jews can be priests?
-only people from the middle east can be priests?

Cause, last I checked, Jesus didn’t come as a pasty-white descendant of the Vikings either…
Awesomesauce

The only role the church wants women to play is the one where they lie on their back.

That’s offensive! Many women are also good sources of revenue. 😉
Sean the Blogonaut

That’s offensive! Many women are also good sources of revenue. 😉

Women are good multi taskers
Awesomesauce

Women are good multi taskers

Well, religion and prostitution were best of friends many a time throughout history.
Polly

This all makes me wonder what role women are allowed to play in the Catholic Church…

In terms of leadership: Nun
Maria

it’s nice to know bigotry is alive and well. it’s one of the main reasons I left
hoverFrog

Pope Joan would turn in her grave.
Spurs Fan

In terms of leadership: Nun

Oh my goodness….
Skeptigator

@Polly

In terms of leadership: Nun

I almost spit out my coffee, well done, 10 points to you plus a bonus 5 points for actually making a pun funny.
Skeptigator

@hover

If I said it once I’ve said it a thousand times, Pope Joan is just a myth perpetrated by the goddess-worshipping liberal jewish gay illuminati media.
LadyVonKulp

One would think that with the problem they’re having in FINDING guys to be priests that they’d think twice about that.
hoverFrog

Skeptigator, can I get away with saying that there’s more evidence for Pope Joan than there is for Jesus?
Skeptigator

ooh, ouch, good one hov

[clears throat]

I mean, No!
David D.G.

This all makes me wonder what role women are allowed to play in the Catholic Church…

Apart from nuns, the only role they seem to be allowed to play is that of bearing as many children as possible to become additional Catholics (and encouraging their offspring to go forth and do likewise).

~David D.G.
JimboB

When I attended Catholic church back in grade school, girls were finally allowed to be “alter boys” (alter girls?)…

From what I understand, they weren’t always allowed to do so. The Vatican (I think) forbade it, but more liberal Catholic churches allowed it anyway. Eventually the Vatican came out and said: “oh yeah that’s fine now” or “it’s up to the priests” etc.
Nurse Ingrid

“Remember the robot maid from the Jetsons? ”

Kate, you win the thread!!

As a non-Catholic who attended Catholic school for a few years, I was so appalled by their stance on women, queers, etc. that I once lost it during religion class and started yelling, “you people just think women are baby machines!”

So, thanks. That was priceless.
Maria

As a non-Catholic who attended Catholic school for a few years, I was so appalled by their stance on women, queers, etc. that I once lost it during religion class and started yelling, “you people just think women are baby machines!”

LOL, it’s true