When Nuns Attack May 16, 2008

When Nuns Attack

By Guest Contributor
May 16, 2008

Retired priests and nuns are getting ready for what I can only assume will be the Final Battle:

The duelling pensioners at Melbourne’s Catholic Homes Corpus Christi, most of whom are former priests and nuns, have spent nine months learning to lunge like Zorro – with a little help from their Zimmer frames and instructor Joseph D’Onofrio, 73.

Wait for it…

fencingnuns.JPG

“It’s very unusual at our age,” said 93-year-old Sister Delores Kirby, a retired nun of the Faithful Companions of Jesus order.

“It’s a challenge. I’m always a bit afraid I might fall over.”

I can’t just sit here and let them gain an upper edge on me.

As soon as summer begins, I am *so* taking up sumo wrestling.

You know… the sport of atheists.

(via Balance and Paradox)


[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]

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  • mike

    (SIWOTI alert) Dear newspaper caption writer: It’s “en garde”.

  • Dylan Armitage

    (SIWOTI alert) Dear newspaper caption writer: It’s “en garde”.

    At least they didn’t put “on guard.” 😛

    Sumo wrestling? I don’t know, somehow it doesn’t seem to fit. But then again, I can’t think of anything else that’d be much of an atheist sport.

    What does everyone else think would be a good sport? And no, baby-eating is only meant for contests, not sports. 😛

    And this whole thing reminds me of Battle Pope. 😀 (Google it.)

  • cipher

    Where are their rulers?

    Actually, Sumo has some association with Shinto ritual. And I believe they purify the ring with salt.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sumo

  • Jen

    Picture it: Rome, 2006. I am studying abroad at a school that shares a driveway with a nun house. A friend and I are walking back from somewhere when it starts to rain. As we walk in the rain, the conversation turns to buttsex. Why? I don’t remember. Then, suddenly, nuns! Nuns come to share umbrellas with us. Buttsex talk drops off. A prayer: maybe they don’t speak English?

    This is what I think of when I think of nuns. The Zorro nuns are pretty cool too, though.

  • Aph

    Me: I’m scared sarge, I can’t take no sword fighting nun.
    Sarge: I know son, we’re all scared.
    Me: I hope this is a dream.
    Sarge: ‘fraid not, it’s scary naked reality.
    Me: *sob*

  • Chris

    Oh, I’m not so sure about the sumo costume. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a female sumo, and don’t think I really want to. Especially when those nun fencing outfits are so attractive!

    Did anyone else see the guy in the back with the fencing mask in the wheelchair? Next to the one with the walker….

  • Claire

    Me, I want video of the nuns doing footwork drills.

  • mikespeir

    How old is Sister Delores Kirby really?

  • The proper sport of atheists is feeding Christians to lions. Adult Christians of course, we get to eat the babies at half time.