Review of <i>Iron Man</i>, By Pastor Deacon Fred

***Update***: I didn’t think I needed to say this, but I’m well aware that Landover is a parody site. I know Pastor Deacon Fred. I’ve interviewed him on this very site. I appreciate the comments and email that point this out, but rest assured I’m not duped *that* easily 🙂

…

Pastor Deacon Fred of Landover Baptist Church has this to say about Iron Man:

The first thing you have to understand about the movie, “Iron Man,” is that it is based on a super hero comic book series. For those of you who are not aware, super hero comic books are cartoon-style magazines read by effeminate young boys who don’t play sports…

Surprise, surprise… he hasn’t seen the movie:

I’ve never opened a comic book in my life, and to be honest with you – I’ve never seen the film, “Iron Man.” I don’t have to! Amen? Jesus, the Holy Spirit who dwells within me, and a few hours of TMZ work as a guide to figuring out what this movie is really all about on a spiritual level that unsaved people will never understand or appreciate.

The general idea of every super hero story is always the same, a mild mannered man gets super powers and tries to save the world without the blessing of Jesus Christ… We’ve basically got ourselves a mild-mannered-man who overdoses on Viagra. Iron Man is named for his enormously taught and giant tally whacker which is used to knock out villains with a quick gyration of his hips.

The entire issue of the LBC newsletter can be found here.

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TheDeadEye

What a sad, stupid and ignorant man.

*edit*

Damit, I fell for it. Hard to tell the real bullsh*t (Westboro) from the fake/funny bullsh*t (Landover).
ash

Iron Man is named for his enormously taught and giant tally whacker which is used to knock out villains with a quick gyration of his hips.

is it wrong that ^this^ is the version i want to see?
Siamang

Iron Man is named for his enormously taught and giant tally whacker which is used to knock out villains with a quick gyration of his hips.

I am Iron Man.
GDad

Poe’s Law in action.

Sum Ferrum Vir.
grazatt

Hemant, you should have known this was a fake!
Ben

Ummm….Hemant DID know. Landover Baptist has been around for a long time.
Todd

The home page is excellent (http://landoverbaptist.org/), with articles such as: Why Did Jesus hate his mom so much, Why true Christians shouldn’t give a lick about the damned environment, and Speed Racer: Homos, Whores & Hallucinogens.

The YouTube channel is also entertaining – http://www.youtube.com/lbc4god
McMama

WHAT?! You just can’t MAKE this stuff up. :eyeroll:
chancelikely

I say this every time, but I was wrong about both Landover and Westboro.

I was surethat Landover was real, just as I was sure that Westboro was pulling everyone’s collective leg.
Zack

anybody who uses “tallywacker” is a friend of mine. And this has to be satire.
Xeonicus

That’s a parody site, right?
Michael

Yes, this is a parody site.
Cafeeine

Comic fan lore: In an issue of Top Ten, a comic laden with comic book in-jokes and references, An early IM issue cover is remade as a poster/storefront of a strip joint, starring “Iron Rod”.
Secular Dignity

Xeonicus said,

That’s a parody site, right?

With conservatives, it is hard to tell sometimes.
Gabriel

Before I realized this was a parody my first thought was “Effeminante…don’t play sports”? I’m 6’6″ 250 lbs, was a high school baskeball star, 4 years of martial arts, was the hammer when I worked the hardest prison in Texas and he has the balls to call me effiminate. I will pull his head off and shit down his… hey wait did he just say viagra powered tallywhaker. Oh damn I’m an idiot, this is a joke.
Asylum Seeker

Heh…didn’t realize that this was from Landover Baptist until reading the comments. Should have read more carefully, because it really would have cleared many of my questions regarding the Pastor’s assessment of the typical demographic for comic book reading, and his almost Freudian ability to read sexual implications into “Iron Man” (seriously, the mind still boggles, even knowing that it was a joke!).

Landover Baptist: Too close to the real thing for comfort…
Marcello

I thought that the friendly atheist was a nice, interesting and serious web site, until I saw this post.
Not being able to recognize a satiric site (and a very good one, by the way!) makes me realize that some people that post on the friendly atheist are more ignorant and obtuse than the conservatives that you attack so fiercely…

Cheers
hoverFrog

In England, where the film was initially released, we’re told that “Iron Man” condoms were handed out to theatergoers

Yes, it’s true. Sadly I missed the film though. The pre-showing orgy was in full swing and no-one wanted to stop.
Hemant Mehta

I thought that the friendly atheist was a nice, interesting and serious web site, until I saw this post.
Not being able to recognize a satiric site (and a very good one, by the way!) makes me realize that some people that post on the friendly atheist are more ignorant and obtuse than the conservatives that you attack so fiercely…

I didn’t think this needed mentioning, but I *do* know Landover is a satirical website. I’ve met Pastor Deacon on a number of occasions. I even interviewed him.
Kristopher

Parody … well done parody … the insanity was almost believable.
McMama

Evidently I should pay more attention. It does say something, though, doesn’t it, that it was hard to distinguish between parody and reality. WBC has said some crazy awful things in its day and I wouldn’t be all that surprised to hear crazies spouting things like this for real.

Review of Iron Man, By Pastor Deacon Fred