Smells Like Jesus April 15, 2008

Smells Like Jesus

If you own a business where you take people’s money, then just be up front about it.

Must you invoke the Bible in the process?

Now there’s a candle that lets you experience the scent of Jesus, and they’ve been selling out by the case.

“We see it as a ministry, ” says Bob Tosterud, who together with his wife came up with the idea for the candle.

Light up the candle called “His Essence” and its makers say you’ll experience the fragrance of Christ.

Bob Tosterud and wife Karen say the formula is all spelled out in Psalm 45.

For those unaware, Psalm 45 is when God commands Jesus to shamelessly profit on his reputation.


Mmm… smells Jesustastic.

“It’s the only one on the market and everyone tells us it’s very unique and nothing like it,” says Karen Tosterud.

“We wanted people to be able to experience Christ in new ways and to be able to read a bible and have that scent and that candle as a reminder that he is with us all the time.”

“You can’t see him and you can’t touch him,” says Bob Tosterud. “This is a situation where you may be able to sense him by smelling. And it provides a really new dimension to one’s experience with Jesus.”

They’ve sold over 10,000 candles… at about $18 a pop.

Why haven’t atheists capitalized on scented candles yet?

I could make millions off of Eau de Hitchens.

I just need to find a way to bottle tobacco and scotch.

(via New Humanist)

[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]

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  • I can honestly say that this comes as little suprise, religion has always been and always will be a business. This just puts the bullshit of religion right out in the open where everyone can get a good strong whiff of it, literally. The reason Atheists haven’t capitalized on this type of bullshit is that we realize we have morals and don’t try to get away with as much as possible and then just blame it on some fairy tales and an imaginary friend. See: Kent Hovind

  • To be fair, these scents were probably quite familiar to the original audience, so I can’t say I can argue against providing the sensory experience that this particular Bible text was meant to evoke.

    Making a tidy profit off of it, on the other hand… yeah that’s just slimy.

    At least it’s not quite as crazy as Ezekiel 4:9 bread

  • Jason

    I love the fact that it is so easy to poke fun at Hitchens’ habits. It makes him that much more interesting of a person. Oh, and he’s an accomplished journalist, a great writer, and a rational thinker.

  • Becky

    LOL!! Tobacco and scotch,eh? You should ask Demeter Fragrances 😉 You’re so right on the shamelessly profiting, bit. =(

  • Ron in Houston

    Well, if you really want to get in touch with the true Jesus, then you’d need a candle that smells like an itinerant preacher who probably doesn’t bathe much and probably hasn’t washed his clothes in six months.

    Mmmm, I can smell the aroma now.

  • just need to find a way to bottle tobacco and scotch

    I think the Scotch in a bottle solution is already available, now for the tobacco.

  • I agree with the part about making a profit. Who buys this stuff and believes it ‘works’?

    “…you may be able to sense him by smelling…” What???

  • I wonder if they’ve considered a scatch and sniff bible.

  • Ha Scratch and Sniff Bible… What does genocide smell like?

  • I think the Scotch in a bottle solution is already available, now for the tobacco.

    Unravel a fine cuban and stick it in there?

    They do something similar with mangoes in tequila at my local liquor store…

    You’re definitely on to something…

  • While you’re waiting for the scratch ‘n sniff Bible, Check this out:

    John 3:16-17

    So liek teh Ceiling Cat lieks teh ppl lots and he sez ‘Oh hai i givez u me only kitteh and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k?’
    Cuz teh Ceiling Cat not snd hiz son2 take all yur cookies, but so u cud maek moar cookies 4EVAR!

    Blessinz of teh Ceiling Cat be apwn yu, srsly.

  • Ooh, candles that smell like an unwashed desert-dwelling guy (think of all that sweat), with a hint of goats, and perhaps an overtone of blood. I must have them!

    Actually, I bet John the Baptist would smell even better.

  • Karen

    Their musical slogan, “Smells Like Jesus’ Spirit.”

  • Smell ya later!

  • James

    The possibility of Jesus being a hippie has been thrown around a bit (long hair and sandals) so I guess that means the candles smell like patchouli.

  • They did not have deodorant back then, so I’m going to assume that Jesus did not mostly smell of myrrh and aloes and cassia, but rather smelled like B.O. and mules.

    Just a hunch.

  • Henant said:

    “I could make millions off of Eau de Hitchens.

    I just need to find a way to bottle tobacco and scotch.”

    Robert says:

    NO! NO! NO!


    or the smell of burning leaves (which I love)

    Ooooh! Perhaps we could get Yankee Candle to do this for us!!

    It could be their April fragrance of the month!!!

    “Essence of atheism” 🙂


  • David D.G.

    Why haven’t atheists capitalized on scented candles yet?

    Wouldn’t candles promoting atheism be of the scentless variety?

    ~David D.G.

  • STA

    ::knock knock::

    Hey man, I was just in the neighborhood and I ….

    ::sniff sniff::

    …has Jesus been here?

  • Tim Van Haitsma

    According to his brother Peter, Chris has given up smoking. But he still drinks scotch. I saw him with a glass after the debate with Peter.

  • Gern Blanston

    I would go with Christastic over Jesustastic.
    It flows better.
    So what’s worse? Making a profit off of someone you believe is your savior? Or claiming he is just another dude that tricked a lot of people into thinking he has magical powers?
    I’d say the first.

  • Dirk

    King’s daughters among his concubines?
    And his queen? Mary Magdalene perhaps?
    How did they leave that out of the New Testament?

  • Well, this would be a bad thing.
    Except that only fools buy the candles, so it all balances out.

  • Erik

    Might I suggest Burberry London as the fragrence which most exemplifies Hitchens.

    Look, it has tobacco and port wine in it…that’s pretty close, right?

  • Thanks for the link Hemant! I like your idea about Eau de Hitchens. You used to be able to get a dose of that just by going in an English pub, but then they went and banned smoking. So the market may be open again…
    (Paul, New Humanist)

  • Bob Russell

    Maybe it smells like shite…I’m sure the Nazarene shat himself as he passed into heaven….he was only human after all…

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