Friendly Atheist Contest #23: Ice Cream Flavors April 11, 2008

Friendly Atheist Contest #23: Ice Cream Flavors

Last week, I ran this contest:

If religions were flavors of ice cream, what flavors would they be and why…?

Here are the Top 5 responses (with submitters)!


Jehovah’s Almond Fudge because its flavor is just heavenly and more than a little nutty.

(Laurie Soule)


I just envision someone with a picket sign reading, “It’s Ben & MARY, not Ben & Jerry!”…

(Ray Harrington)


Judaism ice cream is whatever flavor your mother slaved over for days to make for you, and aggravated her arthritis, so would it hurt you to call her once in a while?

(Ubi Dubium)


I’ll go with chocolate, because it’s copied in so many other flavours, and no matter how much, people keep eating it right up.



Neapolitan, because they only choose the parts they like and leave the parts they don’t.


Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!


If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest (sticking with the previous theme):

Atheism similes!

Fill in the blanks:

Atheists are like _______ because _______________.


Atheism is like _______ because _______________.

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Athesim is like religion because they’ll all get flushed down the universal toilet.

    Well, just watch this YouTube film and see for yourselves.

  • Atheists are like a herd of cats. They say it’s impossible to gather them into groups but somehow they’re able to do it themselves on a regular basis. They’ll also claw out your eyes if you forget to feed them. Last meetup I went to was three hours long and not a sandwich or bagel in sight. Rawr. Hiss. Ffft.

  • JoshH

    Not to pick (okay, I am picking), but are we talking similes or proper analogies? Analogy:

    Atheism : ______ :: ______ : ______.

    Otherwise you should word it as such: “Atheism similes!” …since a simile is defined as a comparison using “like” or “as.”

    (It’s a rather slow day here at work if you can’t tell :P.)

  • Robin

    Atheists are like a box of chocolates. Sometimes, you’ll get something creamy and delicious (like Hemant Mehta), and sometimes you’ll get something that leaves a bad taste in your mouth (like Christopher Hitchens).

  • Atheists are like comfortable shoes because they’re sensible.

  • Alan Bombria

    I would love to buy a Friendly Atheist wristband. How about adding it to the product gallery? PLEASE???

  • jim

    Atheists are like early christians, misunderstood and persecuted. And not all that organized.

  • Atheists are like butter once we’re warmed up we spread easily

  • Wife: You know there are two ways to take the “spread easily” right?
    Me: What? What do you…? Oooohhh…

  • Polly

    Warning, a little graphic.

    1)Atheists are like OBGYN’s, it’s our job to peer into the darkness and help bring life out of it.

    b)Atheists are like Bibles, every xian thinks they know what we’re about, but most haven’t got a clue!

  • Andrew

    Atheists are like religious fundamentalists because they blindly worship reason, and that argument clearly shows it’s only logical to disregard them.

  • Keith

    a) Atheists are like puppies because we’re damned cuddly.

    b) Atheists are like smart primates because we are, in fact, smart primates.

  • Mriana

    Ok this isn’t funny, but I’ll go for it anyway…

    Atheist are like everyone else, because they are human.

    Sorry, it’s the best I could come up with. 🙁

  • Not to pick (okay, I am picking), but are we talking similes or proper analogies? Analogy:

    Atheism : ______ :: ______ : ______.

    Otherwise you should word it as such: “Atheism similes!” …since a simile is defined as a comparison using “like” or “as.”

    (It’s a rather slow day here at work if you can’t tell :P.)

    Curse you for pointing this out and making me feel foolish. 😛

    I changed the posting title to be more accurate.

    But the strict analogy construction might be a fun one to do in the future.


  • I would love to buy a Friendly Atheist wristband. How about adding it to the product gallery? PLEASE???

    Hmm… I’ll have to talk to a few people, but what’s a fair price? And is it worth just keeping it as a prize to be won or a giveaway?

    (Carl Kasell would *never* record the message on your answering machine if you didn’t win a game…)

  • Renacier

    Athieism is like money because the only people who believe it can’t bring you happiness are the ones who don’t have it.

  • If it is possible, Hemant, maybe you could have a different-colored wrist band for people to buy.

    EDIT: Oops, I assumed that they were always yellow, didn’t read the part that said they were made in the colors of the winners’ choices.

  • P.S.

    Atheism is like shopping at Whole Foods. All natural, more expensive to maintain the habit (at least in the States), and you’re mostly surrounded by white people.

  • Ashes

    Atheists are like sheep, because.. well, because that’s what they’re like, and you’d best not question it, because that’s what our forefathers’ forefathers taught us and passed down through the ages, and back then, people knew the TRUTH and they didn’t color it up with modern lies and sinful ways, and we need to GO BACK to those days and reconnect with the early times when we were still living in harmony in the garden and not leaning on our own understanding of things we can never understand and have only progressively misunderstood even worse which is why the world has been falling apart for the last 2000 years out of the 6000 it has existed, all of which PROVES BEYOND ANY DOUBT that atheists are like sheep.

  • Ray Harrington

    An Atheist is like a condom: Doesn’t break under pressure, scientifically reliable, keeps away any unwanted side-effects, it beats praying and more than one usually scares the crap out of the church.

    P.S. after getting 4th on the last contest, Atheism is also alot like myself: Try and try, but somehow fall short of feeling vindicated.

  • Jen

    Atheism is like religion because- oh wait, they are nothing alike.

  • Theo Doersing

    Atheists are like cockroaches because for every one you see there are a thousand you don’t.

    And they’ve been around forever and will never go away.

    And most people react disgustedly when they see one.

  • Kathryn

    A little graphic.

    Atheism is like bondage – both are sexy, stimulating and require an open mind.

  • Atheism is like seeing the world without blinders because our viewpoint isn’t clouded by an opaque layer of belief and superstition.

  • Cade

    Atheism is like a religion because of the tax breaks. Oh…wait. Never mind

  • J Myers

    Atheism is like an integer because it is rational.

    (Math reference… bonus points?)

  • Dakota

    Atheists are like the law of gravity because a theist can jump off a cliff in anyway they choose and we’re still always right!

  • Godamn

    Atheism is like the sanitation department cause without it the world would be full of crap.

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