Friendly Atheist Contest #21: New Catholic Sins March 18, 2008

Friendly Atheist Contest #21: New Catholic Sins

Last week, I ran this contest:

What other “sins” will the Catholic Church condemn?

Here are the Top 5 responses (with submitters)!


Back sassin’ His Holiness.




… The emoticon is another symptom of the degradation and increasing secularism of society. It is beneath God, and it is beneath his faithful.



Google Abuse (thou shalt not google more than 3 times per day)

(Old Beezle)


No more making fun of the Popemobile. It’s not a lack of faith. We finally admit it – God just can’t stop bullets.



Virginity. But only in boys under 18.


Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!


If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest:

If religions were fonts, what fonts would they be and why…?

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!

[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]

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What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Wasyl

    Catholicism would be You’re Going to Hell-vetica

  • Wingdings – It says a lot, but none of it makes any sense.

  • Comic Sans, because it represents the intellectual level of mose religious doctrines and is a fundie troll cult favorite!

  • ash

    doesn’t matter AS LONG AS IT’S WRITTEN IN CAPS

  • Times New Roman 12 pt, because it’s what they were given by default and they’ve never thought about other options.

  • TheElectricMonk

    but catholics are already wingdings…

  • I’m going with MT (monotype) Symbol.
    Say it out loud: “M.T. Symbol.”

  • HM

    The font for Scientology would be Times Extra New Roman, which they promise is newer and better than all the old fonts, costs $10,000, but ends up looking exactly the same.

    (Please don’t sue me.)

  • Helie L


    Because a big bureaucracy ripped it off a popular font (Helvetica), like the Catholic Church ripped off pagan traditions.

  • Arial Narrow-Minded

  • Derek

    Chinese, because if you don’t have it installed, none of it makes any sense.

    -or if it’s okay to restate someone else’s-

    Wingdings, because for some reason there’s more than one, and no one is actually sure of what they really mean.

    To be fair, Wingdings is the obvious answer.

  • Courier, a font based on an obsolete technology (typewriters).

  • Viggo the Carpathian

    Stencil – The generic font for all religions

    Traditional Arabic – Islam, for obvious reasons

    Freestyle Script – Unitarians

    Papyrus – Judaism (Ok, weak but what you gonna do)

    Comic Sans – Baptists (Have you been to one recently… I mean really)

    FangSong (yes, its a real font) – Snake handling Baptists

  • Kevin M

    Book Antiqua

  • Ashes

    Century Schoolbook, in honour of all their attempts to keep modern schoolbooks filled with 1st century A.D. ideas.

  • Fundamentalism has to be Book Antiqua. For obvious reasons.

    And Scientologists are Zapf Dingbats. For what I hope are also obvious reasons.

  • Courier new because as with the font, every passage in the bible has equal weight for the fundamentalists regardless of how obviously the passage merely is a product of the man-made culture of the time.

  • Comic Sans Brain.

    It describes theistards to a T!

  • Rest

    I just want to give a big shout out to God for giving me the comedic talent to win the last contest. To those who lost, I guess you just didn’t pray hard enough. Keep trying! 😉


  • boo

    Times Old Roman – because there’s nothing like some good ol’ fashioned human sacrifice, child boinking and lead poisoning induced brain tumors.

  • Oh, yeah.

    One more.

    It’s not a religion… but atheism is Futura.

  • If it’s a church that believes in glossolalia, you know they’re speaking in Tunga.

    Oh, and I once new a former nun turned hedonist who ran a strip club called Our Lady of Perpetua Titling.

  • Paineroo

    Times New Roman Catholic – Important letters wear a mitre in the form of a 15pt caret.

  • The Reverend

    A new type would need to be invented for christian religions:
    baptismal font!

  • pip

    mangal: because Christians mangle logic and reasoning at every turn when they try to defend their beliefs.

    trebuchet MS: because Christians need something akin to a catapult to keep making those leaps of faith every day of their lives.

  • Alyx

    Just a few I came up with (I hope it’s not too many :/ )…

    Scientology – AvantGarde

    Satanism – Century Gothic

    Baptism – Georgia

    Buddhism – Microsoft Himalaya

    Mennonite – Goudy Old Style

    Fundamentalism – Zapf Dingbats

    Judaism – David or Miriam

    Evangelism – Perpetua

    Jehovah’s Witness – Courier (because they sometimes go door to door on bicycles, and bicycle messengers carry courier bags…yes, it was a stretch…)

    Islam – Arabic Typesetting

    Catholicism – Constantia

    What would atheism be? MS Reference Specialty or Rockwell Extra Bold (becuase atheism rocks and is extra bold, plus Christians especially like to reference it as being evil)

    Hehe…this was fun…although I’ll admit I spent waaay too much time on it…

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