Christvertising March 15, 2008

Christvertising

By Guest Contributor
March 15, 2008

If any of you are thinking of selling something in the near future, consider Christvertising!

They help you look at different ways prayer can help your product:

Christvertising takes a whole new approach to marketing your brand. We skip the strategic deliverables. We pass on the matrixes, the payoffs and the metrics. We ignore any viral functionality. We focus on the ultimate end-user: God…

…If God loves your brand, it will become stronger and more successful.

They help you “access the power of brand-targeted prayer (BTP™) using [their] unique, isosceles approach to marketing.”

What the $%&* is an “isosceles approach,” you might ask? Maybe it has something to do with this triangle:

christvertising.JPG

And if the Christvertising doesn’t succeed? It’s not the company’s fault.

God just doesn’t love your product.

You failure.

(via Clusterflock)


[tags]atheist, atheism, Dr. Ed van Pelt[/tags]

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  • Matt

    Please tell me this is satire.

  • I couldn’t find any definite word on the internet as to whether it’s satire, but tentatively, I would presume that it is.

    So is the “isosceles approach” like a pyramid scheme?

  • the Shaggy

    This has got to be a joke. Seriously. There is no way that this could be seen as an effective marketing tool.

    Especially with a single guy in a tiny house in the woods wearing pants up to his nipples in those shoes. He looks awkward and uncomfortable… the hell?

    And I LOVE that last video “We have a wide variety of refreshments,” so it zooms in to him pouring coffee. NO WAY THIS CAN BE SERIOUS.

  • Darryl

    I smell scam on stupid small-business Christians.

  • THz

    That triangle looks equilateral to me.

  • Jenny

    Looks like a pyramid scheme to me..

  • Technically, an equilateral triangle is an isosceles triangle, in the same way that a square is technically a rectangle: in each instance, the first term is a special case of the second term. An isosceles triangle has two legs of the same length; it just happens that in the case of an equilateral triangle, the third leg of the triangle is equal in length to the other two.

    But yeah, rather than call it an isosceles triangle, I’d call it an equilateral triangle. Less likely to make people stop and say, “Wha…?”

  • Marc

    I am now pretty certain that it is satire:

    the best clue is the video under the “Where” button on the homepage: the comment about having a “wide variety of refreshments” available in case anyone interested wants to come by is just too silly

    Also, the domain registration shows that “christvertising.com” is registered to is registered to “TUCOWS INC.” in the Netherlands. Tucows is, of course, one of the biggest software (including shareware and freeware) distributors on the internet. Somehow this doesn’t make sense.

  • The “we have a wide variety of refreshments” sealed it up as being humor, to me.

  • Aaron

    Tucows does domain registrations, too.

    And yes, totally satire, and wonderfully done. The fact that there’s still 1% of doubt makes it twice as funny.