One to ridicule the people who don’t realize the light is out.
One to ridicule the ridiculers and try to make nice with those who don’t realize the light is out.
One to realize that the light is out but do nothing for fear of being thought of as someone who realizes that the light is out.
One to be skeptical that the light receptacle even has power.
One not to even care.
One to actually change the light bulb.
A: None: the lightbulb isn’t broken, even if you’re told it is, and you believe it is.
James
Two: One to hold the ladder, one to change the lightbulb… and zero invisible friends.
Richard
None. They’ll just sit back and wait for it to evolve light giving properties.
MercuryBlue
One, to change the light bulb. Contrast to the number of religious people it takes to change a light bulb—a large number trying to become larger, because they’re all sure that if there’s just one more person praying, if they all pray just a little bit harder, God will change the light bulb.
robin
None. Atheists aren’t afraid of the dark.
Susan
One. Because atheists keep a supply of bulbs and don’t rely on a myth in case they run out.
An atheist can’t change a light bulb, but hopefully they can offer enough evidence that the light bulb will change on its own.
Tolga K.
One atheist.
One sacrificial goat.
Three ground up babies (and an aborted fetus).
One bag of tortilla chips.
And fifty freshly torn pages from a Bible to clean up the mess.
Joseph R.
Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
Arlen
Atheists don’t know how to change a light bulb, but they’re sure your method is wrong.
Atheists do know how to change a light bulb, but they would like to discuss the irrationality of some other methods first.
Jack
None. An atheist rationally knows that a light bulb can’t be changed — once a light bulb, always a light bulb. However, it takes only one atheist to replace a light bulb.
none, they prefer to hide in the dark and pretend to see the light.
James
Two
one to change the bulb
another to quit relying on the old type of bulb and design a better one
GWN
one. Come on, it’s simple physics!
Frank
I’m the light… so I don’t need light bulbs
Lysander
Don’t try to change the lightbulb; that’s impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth–there is no lightbulb. Then you’ll see that it is not the bulb that changes; it is only yourself.
Lysander
I think it should be:
Q: How many atheists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Two, but how do they get in there?
One,Thomas Alva Edison, also the light bulb’s inventor, who didn’t believe in an afterlife but in brightening up this one.
–Edward T. Babinski
J Myers
This isn’t mine; I saw it posted somewhere recently, and thought it was pretty good:
Q: How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two: One to change the lightbulb, and one to videotape the event to keep the theists from claiming that god did it.
Ben
A .true. atheist wouldn’t change the lightbulb, because in order to know for certain that the lightbulb was burned out, you would require complete omniscience. Why change a lightbulb that you aren’t sure is burned out?
Q: How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two: One to change the lightbulb, and one to videotape the event to keep the theists from claiming that god did it.
Good one. That gets my vote!!!
If only someone had a video camera around 2000 years ago…
Imagine…
One, but no one will ever use that light again, because as soon as an atheists touches the light bulb, all light emitted becomes the work of the devil.
chatterbox
At least three, but they won’t change it, just continue the orgy until the sun rises!
None. An atheist rationally knows that a light bulb can’t be changed — once a light bulb, always a light bulb. However, it takes only one atheist to replace a light bulb.
This one gets my vote! But this one deserves honorable mention!
One, she tells me to change it when I get home.
pip
One, and we have the science to prove our answer.
Lysander
“. . . in order to know for certain that the lightbulb was burned out, you would require complete omniscience.”
Okay, I have to call this one out (even if, by chance, it was a jest) because it bugs me. In most clear bulbs (incandescent or otherwise) one can see if the filament is in tact; if not, it’s out. For frosted bulbs, shake them and if you hear something bouncing off the glass, that’s the broken filament (it could also possibly be visible in the bulb if held up to the light). As for fluorescents, the broken filament can likely be heard. For those bulbs which the filament isn’t visible, the sure way to tell if it’s junk is to apply a continuity test with a multimeter, of which the cheapest costs as much as a lightbulb.
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