The Seven Thousand Years of Human History February 6, 2008

The Seven Thousand Years of Human History

By Guest Contributor
February 6, 2008

The image below (click it for a larger version) was made in 1918.

history.gif

What can we learn from it?

The Dark Ages occurred in A.D. 1000. (And that was it.)

The AntiChrist appeared in A.D. 2000.

Satan’s around for another thousand years.

Good thing no one believes in that type of foolish thinking anymore… (*sigh*)

(via Tiny Frog)


[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]

Previous Post
Help Send "Indian Gurubuster" to TAM6
Next Post
Send Your Kid to Camp Quest West (for Free!)
Browse Our Archives
What Are Your Thoughts?leave a comment
  • Arlen

    Note the text in the bottom left corner:
    I think it’s a little funny that Clarence Larkin decided to copyright this information. Was he worried that someone else would figure this out and steal his credit?

  • greenishblue

    If you go to the main page where that image is hosted (http://www.preservedwords.com/), there’s a handy link where you can get your own “Honorary Doctorate” from the Independent Institute for Advanced Degrees. I’ll have to go get one!

  • How can you refute biblical evidence like that?

  • I’d be curious to find out more about the context of this drawing. This corresponds very closely to what I was taught growing up Mormon. The main difference is that the Mormons would put “the Great Apostasy” in place of “the Church” and then put “the Restoration” just before “the Millenium.” But dividing human history into seven thousand-year “days” like this is standard.

  • It seems, if I’m reading the map right, that the rapture happened in the 1920’s. Perhaps someone should tell Tim LaHaye.

  • MercuryBlue

    The Antichrist came to prominence in 2000? Doesn’t that make Bush the Antichrist?

  • Alycia

    Wait, didn’t the current Bush administration start in 2000? Maybe they’re on to something!

  • Justin, where did you get 1920s from? Not that it matters, the map clearly states that the rapture happens in 1992 or earlier. Which is rather hilarious. I mean a christian could argue that Satan has in fact appeared and is walking this earth, we just don’t know it, but they really can’t argue that the rapture has happened and no one noticed – unless they believe NO ONE was “raptured”…

  • Siamang

    Shit. I’ve been left behind!

  • Karen

    I found an old chart like that in my grandmother’s bible 25 or 30 years ago. I was quite astounded, because it laid out an “End Times” scenario similar to what I’d been taught at churches like Calvary Chapel. And they preached it like they’d just discovered it in a revelation from god!

    Man, sometimes I wonder how I could’ve been so gullible. Sigh…

  • Spurs Fan

    Technically, the Bush Administration began in 2001 after the 2000 election. But, I’m not sure if accurate technicalities really matter in this situation.

  • the map clearly states that the rapture happens in 1992 or earlier.

    Well, then that would make Bill Clinton the Anti-Christ. And does that make W the Second Coming of Jesus? That would fit nicely with fundamentalist ideology.

  • This is all pretty standard Dispensational theology, which is one of those wacky End Times movements that was so popular about 150 years ago (other examples include the Jehovah’s Witnesses, Mormons, Christian Scientists, Seventh Day Adventists, etc.) For a number of reasons however (largely thanks to guys like Scofield and Moody) this one took off and became more mainstream than the rest. These days it’s the default theology among a lot of fundamentalists, Pentecostals and conservative evangelicals. However, it’s pretty much ignored or ridiculed by mainline Protestants, and even moderate evangelicals are increasingly abandoning it in favor of more historic theological understandings.

  • Syckls

    *gasp* You mean to tell me that the seven days are not literal 24-hour days?! Blasphemy!

    I wouldn’t actually say this of course, experienced as I am with hearing ad hoc justifications for everything.

  • Laura

    Okay, my younger brother actually got this for Christmas, or something very close to it. His was actually a bigger version, and in color! It was gifted to him by my sister and her husband, who took their three young girls to the Creation Museum on vacation and loved it. The poster received rave reviews from my whole family, while my husband and I secretly made eyes at each other. You can probably guess that the holidays with my family are ***awkward***. Oh, and the icing on the cake is that my little brother is a HISTORY TEACHER at a public school. And he buys in to all this creationist bs. So sad.

  • julie marie

    Siamang said,

    Shit. I’ve been left behind!

    well fancy that! we’ve all been left behind–who knew God appreciated irony?

  • Nick

    I’ve been left behind!
    Why did I chose to be gay!?

  • What can we learn from it?

    The picture is horse shit.

  • Darryl

    Man, sometimes I wonder how I could’ve been so gullible. Sigh…

    Oh, when I think of the hours I wasted pouring over shit like this back in Bible college. Thank God I’ve been set free!

  • Richard Wade

    Why is all of time and creation coming out of what looks like a large bowling ball? Is that what God is? A bowling ball? Or maybe He’s a Magic 8 Ball!!
    My favorite: “Reply hazy ask again”

  • Karen

    Oh, when I think of the hours I wasted pouring over shit like this back in Bible college. Thank God I’ve been set free!

    Hallelujah, brother! 😉

  • The picture is horse shit.

    By saying this you deman horse shit. Horse shit afterall has some value.

  • Darryl

    Don’t kid yourself into thinking that this stuff is no longer taught in fundamentalist churches. One of the largest and most influential churches in the country, run by Rev. Hagey down in Texas, is typical–he teaches this same “dispensational truth” bullshit. This crap has gotten folded in over the years into the standard evangelical eschatology. Pentecostals believe it, Baptists believe it, and God knows who else.

  • Karen

    Darryl, I’m sure that the End Times churches I used to attend still teach this stuff, too. In fact, I’ve seen drive-by Christians post this kind of b.s. here and on other atheist blogs.

    They just move the dates up every decade or so and swap out “godless Communist” threats for “radical Islamic fundamentalist” threats.