Pray for Me January 21, 2008

Pray for Me

By Guest Contributor
January 21, 2008

Nick Beam set up a prayer blog for me!

By the end of [I Sold My Soul on eBay], Hemant tells us that the only thing he believes will convert him is a miracle. Well, I believe that the God that I serve is in the business of performing miracles, so I thought I would set up a prayer blog just for Hemant. Just go to the comment link and leave a prayer, that God would be gracious and reveal his son Jesus to Hemant. Pray that he perform a miracle for him that leaves no doubt who the savior of the world is.

Start praying that Jesus reveals himself to me.

I’ll keep you updated.

Update one: Nothing yet. You’re not praying hard enough.

Update two: Nope.

Update three: Oh! What’s that I see over there? Could it be?! Wait… no, it’s just the neighbor. Almost, though… almost.

Update four: I’m gonna go eat something… Let me know if God hears you.


[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]

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  • Cade

    So does that mean that if you’re not converted, they’ll stop believing in God or miracles? Or that Jesus hates you?

    Not likely.

  • I prayed for you, but it will probably be deleted after a while.

    Lord Jesus, Creator of all things because you are God, but aren’t really God because the Trinity is too mysterious for us to understand, although that might be intentional on Your part:

    I pray that Hemant sees You in all of Your Glory, whether that be when You ride Your Holy Segway™ or when You are just hanging out on Hemant’s grilled cheese sandwich, the holiest of foods.

    I pray that when he sees You, he craps his pants and comes to his senses immediately: abandoning his evil thoughts on scientific theories like evolution, abiogenesis (There’s only ONE True™ Genesis!), gravitational theory, habeas corpus and Piggly Wiggly. I pray that he comes to appreciate and understand the perfectly reasonable claim that God created humans and dinosaurs and everything else in 4004 BC (That’s Before CHRIST, for all you ahtiests!) after the cultivation of rice, maize, and beer.

    If Hemant was a Christian instead of a Jain, he wouldn’t be an ahtiest commie today!

    It is in Your Heavenly Name™, Jesus – – which has always been Anglicised as JEE-zus and was never pronounced as Hebrew YAY-shoo-ah – – Christ – – which is literally Your last Name™, no matter what ahtiest Biblical “scholars” tell us – – that I pray for this poor, misguided soul.

    Amen™

  • Bad

    But Hemant, if you would just try believing in Jesus for a little bit, I’m sure you’d discover that you then believe in Jesus, which just goes to show that you believe in Jesus, doesn’t it?

  • Where’s my prayer blog?

  • I pray that Hemant will soon win a 3-pick scratch mini-lottery where then he will truly have more money than God!

  • Ha! I’m gonna pray that he does NOT receive a miracle!

    We’ll see whose prayers are answered FIRST!

  • I think they’re not praying very hard. Wow it seems because of that book, Hermant is now on the top of the Christian’s prayer priority list…just above world peace and world hunger.

    Hmmmm I think you have to die first to know if the prayers were answered.

  • Kate

    Not fair!!!!!!!!!! Only Reed’s comment was left undeleted. 🙁

  • atheos

    apparently they are so freakin’ dumb they can’t tell parody when they see it. Poor slobs.

  • Danny

    Lord I pray that you save poor Hemant’s soul, that which he sold on e-bay. Please Lord ask that the person who underpaid for his soul (souls are priceless) be inspired enough to return it (it is only fair that his money be returned, unless he wants to claim it as a charitable write-off for his taxes). May it return to Hemant quickly and intact. Once it is returned, Lord could you please enlighten Mr. Hemant to know you as the only truth worth knowing. May his insistence on logic and reason be put in its proper place (in the trash!).

    Amen

    You are as good as saved now!

  • Jesus

    Hi Hemant. Here I am. Worship me, please.
    -Jesus

  • Jen

    I bet they get bored with this very quickly.

    I on the other hand will be laughing about this for months.

  • Mriana

    Are they serious? I think it would make more sense to be concerned about the many instead of the one. Like um… *Mriana thinks* Oh, here we go, how about concern over those affected by Katrina? Or the hungry children in various parts of the world? Then how about they get off their knees and do something to help these people?

    Sorry. I understand prayer may help them like meditation helps people, but the only thing that really works is action- human action. No action they take will help non-believers, but action to help people to recover from a natural disaster will those who are victims of that disaster, esp if they work together and will be more beneficial to society.

  • It must be so handy to believe that all you need to do to truly help someone is send a few thoughts their way. Nevermind giving up some money or stepping outside to do some actual work. Pathetic.

    (I AM aware that christians tend to be good at giving to charities. I’m just saying that they also seem to spend an awful lot of time praying and being awfully satisfied with the good this does, even if it demonstrably has no effect whatsoever.)

  • Do people realy think that “praying” in the comments section of a blog will be heard by god? Does god even get the internets? And it she does would he really waste her time on blogger? Wouldn’t it be quicker and more effective to just pray like normal? How is posting it on a blog anything other than an attempt to draw attentoion to yourself? Best not to think to hard on this or I’ll be asking questions all day.

  • Sarah H.

    One of the first things I asked my mom to promise me, right after I outed myself as an atheist, was to resist the temptation to send out requests for my conversion to the Prayer Chain at our church. It’s not that the idea of people praying for me makes me uncomfortable, but I consider it a massive waste of time, and since I don’t see any reason to believe in an afterlife, I’d prefer these kind people waste as little of their lives as possible.

  • If I found out people were praying for me, I’d be really bitter about it. I guess I don’t have your sense of humor.

  • If I found out people were praying for me, I think I’d say, “So you’ve got me covered Jesus-wise, right? Thanks! I’m just gonna go out and take some drugs and have some premarital sex. You keep right on praying.”

    Only eight comments were ever posted (to date) to the pray-for-Hemant blog. Six of them were deleted by the administrator. Now that is a person with no sense of humour.

  • Monty

    Anybody know why those six comments were banhammered?

  • Aaron

    Well, I will pray for you because I don’t want to see anyone not come to Jesus, but when a rich young ruler came to Jesus and asked how do I get to heaven Jesus said, “sell all your possessions and follow me”. He wanted that man to fellowship with Him, but He didn’t say, “hold up let me pull out a miracle so you can believe I am the Messiah, and that I truly am God”. No, he doesn’t NEED you, He wants you, but He is God and we and you act as if we are so special that God waits every minute for us. Let me tell you something psst… God can live without us! He chooses to love and He chose to give us life. It’s an honor to believe in Him. And if you don’t like that, then guess what, “I DON’T CARE!

  • JT

    Ha! Guess they gave up! The blog has been deleted. Obviously they weren’t all that serious to begin with.