Bob Wire was visited by a couple female Christians last weekend… so he decided to indulge them in conversation:
“What took you so long?” I said, bracing myself for the intervention. The younger of the two gave me a quizzical look, then took a step forward and opened up her Bible, pointing to a lengthy passage. “I assume you’re familiar with the Lord’s Prayer. When was the last time you said it out loud?”
“Oh, not since the fourth quarter of the Miami-Pittsburgh game. Jesus Christ, did you see that sloppy field? It looked like they were playing in a goddamn barnyard!”
“Um, no,” she said, glancing down at my boxer shorts. I had flopped out. “I missed that one. Um, do you have a robe or something?”
I quickly tucked my Little Toby back in and hastily apologized. “Sorry. Sometimes he just needs some air, I guess. Anyway, I don’t…”
“Our father, who art in heaven…” she began.
“Whom,” I said.
“Whom. Should be ‘our father whom art in heaven.’ I’m a writer.”
Shockingly, they don’t make much progress in any direction.
It does make for an amusing read, though…