Where Can Children of Atheist Parents Socialize?

Speaking as an atheist, I think the best way is to not even think about the religious angle at all. Find school groups, or help organize something based on the kids’ interests or hobbies.

If you try too hard to create an atmosphere for nontheist kids, it comes dangerously close to the mathematician sending his or her kids to math camp, ostracizing the child and creating an uncomfortable situation. Remember, as Dawkins says, there’s no such thing as a Christian child (or, for that matter, an atheist child). Those kinds of thoughts aren’t the sort of things which kids think about, and it becomes an awkward sort of thing.

UU “church school” and/or youth groups. There is religion involved, but it’s a mix of beliefs and faiths, teaches tolerance, and also focuses strongly on “good works” – humanitarian efforts and such.

I definitely have a skewed view of church groups having been around them and even been a teacher of some. My kids aren’t atheists or christians, that is a decision that they will make on their own someday. Aside from school sponsored activities or county sports, there seems to be no real catch all for everyone. Church groups offer a variety of activities from community service to white water rafting trips. They also allow for open ended discussions and relationship building. I suppose that venues do exist for everyone, but I guess I was just thinking more structured, if that makes any sense. I know that having grown up a military brat and been in places where you are mostly forced to stay on a closed base (language AND safety reasons), the military did a fair job in providing recreation groups and gathering places. I suppose all I can do is take my experience from both and start out small, in my home or a local community hall. Honestly, though, I would think things like this would be in place somewhere. It seems that most options are tagged to something else as referenced above, schools, churches or counties. I suppose no matter what you do, you have to attach something familiar and common to whatever you do.
I’m no self proclaimed atheist or fallen christian, I’m just a mom trying to offer my kids a safe place to explore the world and have a little fun and maybe make some lifelong friends. In this transient world of ours, it would be nice to have a few friends, no?

I guess I could build them a fort? Now, to find a tree……..

Garden, very valid point about exclusivity.
I’m not sure what UU is, but I will do some research.
All great ideas.
Thanks for sharing.

UU, if you’re looking for a place where a kid can talk/think openly about a-theism, be encouraged in critical thinking and also in tolerance & social justice activism, and have fun. Other groups (sports, chess, math, science, etc) if you just want the focus to be something other than beliefs, knowing that some kids may bring up their theism & expect your kid to have the same beliefs.

My 9 yr old son and I have been going to a UU “church” for more than a year. He decided a few years ago that he’s an atheist, though I try to have him keep an open mind, not just follow his parents’ beliefs. Problem is, he doesn’t understand yet that you have to be careful where & when you declare your atheism, and he sometimes comments on how silly theistic beliefs are. He loves UU, has alot of fun with the other kids & in his Sunday school class, and I breathe easier knowing that he can say just about anything about atheism or even anti-theism & no-one will blink.

More info: http://www.uua.org/

When I was young, I loved Girl Scouts. The organization is non-theistic, though we usually sang some sort of prayer before eating, sometimes to the tune of “The Adams Family”. Other than that, I don’t recall a single bit of theism. That can depend on the leader, of course, so you could lead the troop! I also joined Campfire, but I think there was a much larger God-related influence, though that might have been my very religious leaders.

We have started a group in the Raleigh, NC area named after the book by Dale McGowan “Parenting Beyond Belief”. We get together at least monthly with our kids for one big playdate. We even attended one child’s birthday party last month. We’ve started organizing smaller meet-ups for the stay-at-home moms and for those people who live closer to one another and just want to hang out together. The group originally formed out of the Raleigh-Durham Atheists group on meetup.com.

We love our group – it’s a wonderful way for us to get together as non-believing parents and share our ideas and frustrations, and also a great way for our kids to hang out with other kids with similar backgrounds. We hope that over time, when faced with a largely religious population in their schools, they will feel comforted knowing that they are not alone.

Tamy — “UU” is an abbreviation for “Unitarian Universalist.” You can find more information about it here:

http://www.uua.org/

Modern-day Unitarian Universalism is non-creedal and there is no requirement to believe in god or gods to join a UU church.

It’s also “covenantal” in that we find common purpose in a shared set of ethical principles instead of a shared statement of belief.

Both halves of the denomination (Unitarianism and Universalism) do have historical roots in Protestant Christianity. However, the modern-day Unitarian Universalism has a wide range of religious diversity within it — nearly 1/2 of our membership identify as “Humanist” and nearly 20% identify as non-theist (atheist and agnostic).

It’s probably more accurate to say that Unitarian Universalism is a “post Christian” religion where Christianity is present but not dominant.

UUs are the best thing going at the moment for nonreligious families. In the latest UUA self-study, 91 percent of UUs chose “humanist” as one of their self-identities. Not all of those are necessarily secular humanists, but even religious UUs are the most welcoming denomination for nonbelievers by far.

And I second Amy’s comment about the terrific Parenting Beyond Belief Meetup group in Raleigh, which has grown quickly to 55 members. You could contact them for ideas about starting a secular parents’ Meetup in your area.

I may be a little biased, but sending your kids to one of the Camp Quest locations is a great way to have them meet other non-religious youngsters. And to follow up on Bjorn’s comment, for the past couple of years in Minnesota we’ve been organizing periodic social events (bowling, skating, pizza, etc.) to help our campers stay in touch.

I’m a Unitarian Universalist (That’s UU Tamy, and you can find out more at http://www.uua.org) and I feel that my children get much from attending RE. BUT there are so many opportunities out there, particularly if you lve in a decent sized community. Art classes, tae kwon do, ballet, acting classes, boys & girls clubs of america, parks & recreation classes…just start doing some searches for your community.

I’ve also found that most of my kids closest friends are the people that they see in school (or daycare) daily and also do some of these activities with. My youngests best friends are his classmates also playing basket ball with him, my eldest has his closest friends as peers who have been in his class at school and participated in special programs for TAG kids.

I think it is laughable that someone wrote that church youth groups “teach tolerance” in any way! HA! I went to church youth group as a kid and a teenager, just to socialize, and it was mostly the same petty ‘who has a cute outfit on’ crap that school was. And as far as teaching tolerance, the only thing I’ve ever heard church people say is that their way is the right way and they need to convert everyone else – not very tolerant. There are a million better choices for children than church functions. Boy scouts (though there is a small element of religion within many troops), Girl scouts, gymnastics, soccer, baseball, ballet, Habitat for Humanity, Kindermusik, Little Gym (last two are for the little ones), art classes, I could go on and on. Activities like these teach commitment, teamwork, responsibility, socialization, and provide hours of fun!

Well, as a recovering Catholic, I can definitely tell you to avoid CCD or Catholic Youth Groups. It’s a wierd mix of Catholic piety and indoctrination during the day and secret hedonism at night. My first exposures to drugs, alcohol and naked girls were on Catholic Youth Group retreats in Jr. and Sr. high school. Of course, I had a pretty good time. So, if you want to teach your kids about the utter hypocrisy of most religions, this might be a good start…and a fun one too. For them, anyway.

Speaking as an atheist father of two bright adolescents, I would encourage you to let them form friendships guided by their own interests. Granted, this is sometimes harder work that the instant community that religions are effective at providing (for better or for worse), but my kids seem to do the best at creating community without parental interference. This may be a factor of their age, however. How old are your children?

We had our son in Boy Scouts for a while, and we all hated the religious and militaristic influences in it (the national council is dominated by Catholics and Mormons, and discriminates against gays and atheists). My daughter had a much better time in Girl Scouts, which is much more tolerant and affirming.

I second the Girl Scouts. I actually had leaders and other girls try to push religion on me when I was younger, but as a result I learned to stand up for my beliefs, and as it went on and got more serious, I learned so much about organization and hard work, as well as made good friends. I could live with the silly before-meal grace songs; it’s all a part of the discipline.

The Boy Scouts, however, are not so tolerant towards secularism, I hear, so be careful.

Justanotheratheist said,
Well, as a recovering Catholic, I can definitely tell you to avoid CCD or Catholic Youth Groups. It’s a wierd mix of Catholic piety and indoctrination during the day and secret hedonism at night. My first exposures to drugs, alcohol and naked girls were on Catholic Youth Group retreats in Jr. and Sr. high school.

My 4th grader is going to have sex education in school coming up. I was going to get my old copy of Gray’s Anatomy or Netter’s Atlas of Human Anatomy out to help explain things. But maybe I should simply have him go on a Catholic retreat to learn the essentials first hand! Since he is only 10, I wouldn’t have to worry about him getting anyone pregnant! 😉

Regarding UU-ism: Most of the people in my UU congregation seem to be atheist/agnostic, & the others are more likely to be Gaia-believers than God-of-the-Bible-believers.

I think it is laughable that someone wrote that church youth groups “teach tolerance” in any way!

It’s a hard thing to teach. My guess is that interacting with people who are different is the best way to “teach” it. In our UU congregation there are several kids and adults with various disabilities, and several familes with same-sex parents, and a few transgendered people, and two Japanese-American women who were incarcerated in camps in the US during WW2, and my son comes in contact with these people, while having a great time. Tolerance isn’t the reason I take him there, but it has turned out to be a nice side benefit.