Now That’s Blasphemy December 21, 2007

Now That’s Blasphemy

By Guest Contributor
December 21, 2007

The title of Hazel Dooney‘s post explains it all.

There’s also a possibly not-safe-for-work pic in the piece.

Here’s a little teaser:

… All were moulded in a soft, pliable, flesh-like silicon that was seductive to touch.

I loved them. Still, despite being an atheist, there’s no way I’d use even faux-religious artifacts for self-stimulation – let alone slide the centrepiece of the Nativity scene up my ass, especially over Christmas.

I can never look at my Answer Me JesusTM the same way…


[tags]atheist, atheism[/tags]

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  • Julie

    Ha ha ha! I have the Jesus on a cross one! A friend sent it to me, along with a CD of Christian music. It was supposed to be a set so I could entertain myself. This friend sent it to me right after we had a long talk and I said I was an atheist. I thought it was hysterical, but my ex watched me open the package and was so horrified and offended. And well, I admit it’s offensive as anything. But funny, if you’re me.

    And I never used it either! I swear!

    I’ll probably regift it this year. Hee hee. Get ready, Siamang!

  • Mriana

    You know, that sounds like kinky smut fiction. 😆

    Looking at his post, it’s just kinky- esp the Jesus on the cross one. 😆 Hey, it’s no worse than me wanting to eat that 200 lb chocolate Jesus. *Evil laughter* Now that is just plain fun kinky blasphemy.

  • Mriana,

    If you want a “taste” of that chocolate Jesus, you can see a picture here. If anyone might be offended by seeing such an image, simply choose not to click. 😆

  • Mriana

    Yes, but that’s the pic of it, Jeff, not the actual let me get my hands on the chocolate Jesus deal. 😆 I want the real thing! Now who wants to haul that thing over to my house just so I can have that 200 lb Jesus in my home? Once it’s here, I’m going to have fun with it. 😆

  • Snazz

    Heh, those toys look like they’d be fun way to prove that god doesn’t exist…

    If you’re able to use them, to *ahem* completion, then you can safely assume that there’s no one ‘upstairs’ to be offended by the blasphemy.

    If anything was gonna earn you a lightning bolt to the head it would be inserting a representation of your god’s only son up your ass.

    edit: ok, you’d expect a fair few priests to be dodging the occasional bolt as well.

  • Rovakur

    Hmmm… So the F-word in the phrase “Jesus f***ing Christ” is an adjective, not a verb?

  • Mriana,

    Actually having that (or a bit of the) chocolate Jesus would be a more tasty spin on the Eucharist (or Communion). I suppose one could become “one with Christ” with some of those other items as well. Perhaps these could be new Christian traditions that could attract more people into the fold. Maybe these practices could be the salvation of Christianity in an increasingly secular world. 😆

  • Mriana

    Rovakur said,

    December 22, 2007 at 6:23 am

    Hmmm… So the F-word in the phrase “Jesus f***ing Christ” is an adjective, not a verb?

    Oh no, dear, I was actually using it as a verb. 😆 😉 Oh I really need to get out more, I’m into chocolate men and Jesus dildos now. 🙄 Um.. can I say that “d” word here?

    Jeff said,

    December 22, 2007 at 6:41 am

    Mriana,

    Actually having that (or a bit of the) chocolate Jesus would be a more tasty spin on the Eucharist (or Communion). I suppose one could become “one with Christ” with some of those other items as well. Perhaps these could be new Christian traditions that could attract more people into the fold. Maybe these practices could be the salvation of Christianity in an increasingly secular world. 😆

    Oh yes, it could put new meaning into Holy Eucharist. Could I be the priestess of that cult? 😆 I’m so evil.

    Oh I need to behave myself. I don’t want to corrupt anyone.

  • I guess this gives a new interpretation for the hymn lyric “o cum all ye faithful” …

  • stogoe

    If Jesus (or whomever wrote down the gospels) had known about chocolate at the last supper, you can bet people would be snacking down on Hershey’s for communion instead of crustless white bread.

    Seriously: Chocolate is delicious.