Friendly Atheist Contest #8: Atheist Haiku November 6, 2007

Friendly Atheist Contest #8: Atheist Haiku

By Guest Contributor
November 6, 2007

Last week, I ran this contest:

Make a motivational poster for atheists!

This was the website that let you do it.

Here are the Top 10 answers (with submitters)!

10|

Atheism_Poster_Patience

(Richard Wade)

9|

Atheism_Poster_Lightning_Rod

(Vovic)

8|

Atheism_Poster_Forbearance

(Richard Wade)

7|

Atheism_Poster_Reality

(Aisling Child)

6|

Atheism_Poster_Values

(T.)

5|

Atheism_Poster_Bald

(Skeptigator)

4|

Atheism_Poster_Blind_Faith

(Mere Skepticism)

3|

Atheism_Poster_Bulldozer

(J. J. Ramsey)

2|

Atheism_Poster_Gold

(Terahertz)

1|

Atheism_Poster_Baby1

(Kate)

And because you just can’t get enough baby posters… here’s a bonus one from Happy Nat: Heathen Dad!

Atheism_Poster_Baby2

Congratulations to the winners! The top three will be receiving specially-made Friendly Atheist wristbands (in the color of their choice), sent to me by blog reader Shauna and her sister Danni!

FriendlyAtheistBand

…

If you’d like to win your own wristband, here is the new contest.

Create an atheistical haiku!

(Haiku = those short poems with lines of 5/7/5 syllables.)

Why haiku? Because I read this and it made me laugh.

Funny and creative answers will have a shot at winning.

Good luck!


[tags]atheist, atheism, contest[/tags]

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  • Haiku One, In Two Parts

    Way of the Master:
    Kirk Cam’ron and his friend Ray
    Put their faith in fruit.

    Ha ha ha ha ha
    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
    Ha ha! Bananas!

    Haiku Two

    I’m an Atheist.
    I couldn’t be more happy
    Not to know your god.

    Haiku Three

    Let’s disspell a myth:
    What’s this shit about babies?
    I just eat toddlers.

    Haiku Four

    Friendly Atheist,
    Hemant Mehta, rocks my socks!
    Click to buy his book.

    Haiku Five

    I believed in god.
    Emphasis on the past tense.
    Now I have freedom.

    Haiku Six

    Haiku is quite odd
    It rarely ever makes sense
    Just like faith in god.

    Haiku Seven

    Religions are dumb
    Like Haikus, they make no sense
    Snuffleupagus

  • One More:

    Muslim extremists
    Get their panties in a twist
    Over some cartoons

  • Richard Wade

    Christmas is coming
    The lady ringing that little bell
    Endlessly ringing
    Atheists say “Oh God”

  • Andrew

    Jesus reads your thoughts
    Republicans really care
    Deluding myself

  • Andrew

    Hey there Jehova
    Save us from your followers
    Use your tools… guilt… fear…

  • Richard Wade

    God gave me free will
    Didn’t ask me first
    Goddamit!

  • ash

    man in god’s image;
    anthropomorphic god box.
    see my misgivings…

  • Ken

    Haiku 1

    Religion, worthless
    Don’t be a slave to the lie
    Religion, should die

    Haiku 2

    Things should change for us
    We should not give up hope
    Time will change the weak

  • No gods for me, thanks
    They are human creations
    Happy Atheist

    You say you have proof
    Evidence must be more than
    Just mushy feelings

  • Anonymous

    It hurts. OH! It hurts!
    The pain of a thousand blades!
    George Bush is speaking.

  • This is GREAT!!! Creativity at work!
    If I may…

    Haiku 1:

    Jesus wept for you
    Love himself is weeping still
    Where is the “FRIENDLY?”

    Haiku 2:

    Freedom is knowing
    All that God offers to us
    In the midst of hate

    Haiku 3:

    One of you touched me
    He helped me learn how to fly
    My “atheist” friend

    Haiku 4:

    Where is the passion
    To look outside of the box
    There is treasure there

    Haiku 5:

    Stop all the non-sense
    Wake up and smell the coffee
    Let’s save our children

    COME AND SEE MY NEW POSTS! YOU’LL ENJOY THEM.

  • RHawk68

    i am without god
    but bananas fit my hands
    i am so confused

  • stogoe

    One:
    Look around you! See
    the full, trancendant awe of
    a world without gods!

    Two:
    Rejoice! The splendor
    of reality abounds.
    And it’s knowable!

    Three:
    Possessed by evil?!
    There are no gods, no monsters.
    Just humans. Just us.

    Four:
    A harsh truth is much
    preferred to a fictive tale
    that cheapens our lives.

  • Hi Stogoe,

    What cheapens your lives is walking through life like zombies and refusing to live, refusing to love. We were created live. We were created to think. We were created to create. We were created to love. He doesn’t care if we believe or not believe. Truth will reveal itself in time. Our job is to just live life. We’re so busy trying to be right all the time that we forget to live… to be creative… Can we PLEASE get out of this box? Hemant? Isn’t that why you created this site to begin with?

  • Linda,

    What makes you think Stooge (and the rest of us I presume) walk through life like zombies? What about a lack of belief in god keeps us from loving and living? I can argue it makes us more likely to love and apreciate life.

    I don’t know how you can say atheists aren’t creative, just look at the haikus in this thread alone :). Just because we don’t give credit to a god for our life doesn’t mean we aren’t busy living the life we have to the fullest.

  • I LOVE HAIKUS!

    Sunday morning and
    I’m still in bed and comfy.
    Atheism rocks!

    Just because we don’t
    believe in god does not mean
    we kick puppies ya’ll.

  • Catie

    #1
    Atheists like school
    because in school we can learn
    not to be morons.
    #2
    Atheists have hair
    just like you. Hair hair hair hair.
    Do you have hair too?
    #3
    Atheists don’t get
    up at 7 AM for church.
    Instead we read books.
    #4
    Atheists don’t kill
    because we’re not deluded
    to think “God” said to.
    #5
    Murder is bad, so
    is rape, and also stealing.
    Atheists are good.
    #6
    Man created god.
    Atheists don’t think that’s smart.
    But we do like cake.
    #7
    Atheists wear hats
    when the weather’s cold. And when
    we’re sick we take pills.
    #8
    Some theists think prayer
    is the best medicine. We
    find that to be dumb.

  • Richard Wade

    “Nightmare”

    Who will save me from the saviors?
    The love god followers are coming
    To put me in the freedom camp.

  • Richard Wade

    Linda, in your statement to stogoe I don’t think your intention was to imply that atheists are not vital, thoughtful, loving and creative, as some may be quick to assume. I think you meant that getting caught up in being contentious, making ourselves right and others wrong is what squelches those things, and that happens to all of us, believers and non. Is that the box out of which you want all of us to escape? I hesitate to speak for you, but is that where you were going?

    He doesn’t care if we believe or not believe. Truth will reveal itself in time. Our job is to just live life.

    I soooooo wish that the other 99.9999% of the Christians agreed with you. It would all make so much more sense, all be so much better for everyone. This belief requirement is the single most discrediting factor to Christianity in my mind.

    Please do not get discouraged.

  • Richard Wade

    Under a godless sky
    My baby smiles up at me
    Just love me, sweetheart, don’t worship me.
    wave to the neighbor

  • Haiku 1
    No god in the sky.
    Shocking to some, but not me.
    Why would I want one?

    Haiku 2
    He died for my sins?
    Did I ask for that favor?
    Keep it to yourself!

    Haiku 3
    Christians and Muslims,
    Jews, and Hindus, and Buddhists:
    All pains in the ass.

    Haiku 4
    Wanted: messiah.
    Must be a Republican.
    Apply to: Karl Rove.

    Haiku 5
    Creationism —
    Fill their young heads with nonsense.
    But claim it’s science.

    Haiku 6
    Faith for Obama
    Clinton, Edwards, Richardson:
    Democrats suck, too!

  • Earl

    He doesn’t care if we believe or not believe. Truth will reveal itself in time. Our job is to just live life.

    My Haikus in honour of the above insight:
    1)
    funny how they know
    the mind which
    cannot be known

    2)
    “He” doesn’t care
    “Truth” is self revealing
    apparently so.

    3)
    until we succumb
    we can be dumb
    as an opposible thumb
    (yeah I know, I just couldn’t stop it rhyming, drat 🙂 )

  • PrimateIR

    You guys are brilliant. I loved posters #2 and #4

  • What an awesome thread!
    But I’ll not write a haiku.
    That would be too hard.

    …dammit!

  • Polly

    1)
    repeated refrain
    God is love or love is god
    Wherefore then the hate?

    2)
    Polly heard a voice
    Follow me to paradise
    A blind man whispered

    I was number one
    once in a contest of wits
    wristband?…still waiting.

  • Angela Lord

    Religion? No thanks.
    I prefer reality.
    It’s more rewarding.

  • My atheism:
    People; hard to understand
    God; impossible

    The atheist mind
    Has one less excuse to make;
    More worlds to explore

    My life without god –
    Infinitely more lovely
    Than my life “with” him

  • ash

    starter of disbelief
    main course of skepticism
    side; baby garnish

    –

    if god/s hold power
    compelling evidence should
    not be beyond them

    –

    logical knots of
    biblical inerrancy
    you horrify me

    –

    christian? muslim? jew?
    atheism only means
    one less god than you

  • Old Beezle

    Haikus about Jesus

    I.
    The Enforcer

    Jesus the made-man
    Breaking bread and breaking legs
    For our Godfather

    II.
    The Money-Changing Racket

    Jesus and his goons
    Busted heads at the temple
    To secure their cut

    III.
    Saints, put your guns down
    Jesus was a pacifist
    Love one another

    IV.
    Sweet resurrection
    Christ on a chocolate cake
    Eat of my body

  • Old Beezle

    Haikus about God

    I.
    God’s silent because
    He is still hiding from us
    In non-existence

    II.
    God what an ego
    It’s bigger than all of us
    That’s just plain selfish.

    III.
    A Magic Trick

    God giggled child-like
    When he made us our own minds
    And unmade himself

  • Old Beezle

    Haikus with historical allusions

    I.
    Comrade Lenin said:
    Opiate for the masses
    Keeps peasants happy

    II.
    The Holy City
    Is full of holes big enough
    For any camel

  • Old Beezle

    Haikus affirming atheism

    I.
    A prophet can speak
    Only for his own future
    Mine is mine alone

    II.
    Pride is saying that
    You have all of the answers
    To life’s big questions

    III.
    This life is enough
    I don’t need eternity
    To live each day well

  • I liked #5 & #7. Most of the rest seemed less about atheism and more about mocking non-atheists.

  • @Mike C: You see the comments numbered?

  • Because he never
    existed, Adam didn’t
    ride a dinosaur

  • Robin

    That poor Larry Craig!
    There’s room in his stall for two.
    Is God watching? No.

  • RHawk68

    Me? An Atheist.
    My Wife? A Catholic for years.
    Our children? Just fine.

  • Polly

    Someone told Polly,
    “I have all of the answers.”
    You need more questions.

  • Haikus are hard and
    Not everyone gets how much
    Syllables matter.

  • #7 is your best poster, IMHO. It shows that atheism has something to offer.

    If you want to win through inspiration, you need to go back and study the reasons why Christianity overcame paganism in the Roman Empire. It wasn’t because Christians militarized — it was because they won a battle of hearts and minds that eventually reached all the way up to the Emperor. Christians had a philosophy in place that addressed defects in the pagan model. For example, when people became ill during the plagues, your classic pagan ran off while Christians stuck around caring for the sick. That resonates when you are abandoned by your family because of a rash and the Christians next door come by to see how you are doing.

    If you piss on that kind of thing, you’re not going to make converts.

    The questions you must resolve are: What are the defects in the Christian model? How can atheism fill those better? How does atheism fill the old needs? As a personal search, are you the kind of person who runs away when your friends get sick?

    If so, you aren’t doing atheism any favors. You just keep Christians pointing and saying “See how monstrous they are” even if the problem is that they don’t get the joke.

  • Wow! I have so much to say…

    First,
    Joel,
    Love does not come from your acts. It comes from the heart. If you want to come by when I’m sick in order to “convert” me, you’re no different than the Christian. No thank you. I like talking to atheists because you seem more real. Please don’t make a liar out of me.

    HappyNat,
    I think Stogoe probably could speak for himself. Please know that I’m not your enemy. I was speaking of the Religious people also. What keeps us from loving and living is… hate. And every single one of us, regardless of our beliefs, is creative. We just have to stop focusing on hate and tap into our limitless creativity.

    Catie,
    You said “Man created god.” May I suggest that man created religion? And I play hookie all the time from church on Sundays. I don’t pray before meals. My daughter does homework during sermons. I challenge people at Bible studies. God is not religion.

    Richard Wade,
    Thank you so very much for your comment. YES, YES, YES! That’s what I was trying to say. I’d be honored for you to speak for me anytime… And no, I’m not discouraged one bit. I see hurting people here. I want them to know that we are all the same. We are all hurting, and we need to stop attacking each other. Do you notice that I’m here and not with “them?” But “they” are just like you too. They just don’t know their own state of imprisonment.

    Earl,
    Thank you. You’re funny.

    PrimatelR,
    I LOVE poster #4 also. Now that’s funny. I’m not offended one bit. It’s very creative. And if I may say so, kind of true…

    Polly,
    I love how you write. Your Haikus are truly poetic.

    Mike C,
    I really appreciate your unbiasedness (is that a word?). I personally like posters #3, #4, and #8, purely on their creative merit (IMHO). Poster #3 is truth straight out of scripture. How can you hate that? To explain what I mean, see my post called “Freedom in Thought” on my blog.

    OK, Now I’d like to correct one of my earlier Haikus… the word “save” doesn’t seem appropriate here, although that’s not what I meant:

    Stop all the non-sense
    Wake up and smell the coffee
    Let’s free our children

    I wrote two more:

    My words do fail me
    To show my passion for love
    I have come in peace

    God, I love this place
    Where everyone speaks freely
    We’re not so different

    Where are the Christians? or other religious folks? How many Christians come here? I think I just realized that I’m the only one here… am I?

  • On the Christian Apologetics and Research Ministry (CARM) discussion board there was a huge thread of atheist and theist haiku. The atheists were by far the more creative and interesting of the participants. I contributed dozens and have culled a few for this forum.

    Atheist Haiku:
    Call it: “Apologetics
    for the fact-based mind.”
    —————————-
    The Creation
    ________________________________
    In the beginning
    Humans did not have a clue
    So created God
    ————————–
    In Humanism
    the potential to be God
    is aiming too low
    ————————–
    In Humanism
    compassion and empathy
    come deity-free
    ————————–

  • Alyx

    Atheists are mean
    They like to eat fresh babies
    Get en mah bellay!
    _________________

    If there is no god
    Who mad all the bananas?
    Must be aliens.

  • Philosopher Jeff

    I.
    Holy means sacred
    Sacred means do not question
    Atheists question

    II.
    Don’t hate religion
    Don’t hate 1 and 1 is 3
    It’s fine to be wrong

    III.
    Ticket to Heaven
    You only must love Jesus
    What a narcissist!

    IV.
    Faith means do not ask
    Faith means do not stand alone
    Faith is controlling

    V.
    I help those in need
    I donate to charities
    I’m a Atheist

    VI.
    I laugh and love
    I weep for those that suffer
    I’m a Atheist

  • Philosopher Jeff

    Oops! I posted “a Atheist” and not “an Atheist”. I guess not all atheists are well educated!

    Here’s a couple more:

    VII.
    Hemant makes contest
    We compete all day and night
    For what? A wristband?

    VIII.
    Friendly Atheist
    Best blog in the blogosphere
    Does sucking up work?

  • (Haiku #3….no sign of 1 & 2)

    Friendly Atheist,
    What, no love for the hateful?
    Mere Skepticism

    …..
    (haiku #4)

    Friendly Atheist,
    If your comments are broken
    Disregard my last.

  • Philosopher Jeff
    You have much good things to say
    God’s not religion

    —–

    Friendly Atheist
    Oh, when will this contest end
    I do hope never

    Because this is fun
    Much to be said with few words
    Simplicity!!!

    Creative people
    are more fun than grumpy ones
    Good to laugh at life

    Let’s do more of this
    Do all things differently
    Change of pace is good

    This is best ever
    Outlet to be who you are
    Without any fear

    You’ve opened the gate
    For all my heart to pour out
    I cannot stop now

    But now I must go
    Get the kids on the school bus
    I do have a life

    But it’s hard to go
    because I love you guys so
    I’ll be back later…. 🙂

  • Gosh,

    Somebody stop me!!

    Here’s another one:

    Richard Wade has heart
    He says he’s an atheist
    But isn’t God LOVE?

  • Richard Wade

    Awwww.

    Linda living her faith
    second nature
    what need of religion?

  • stogoe

    I enjoy textual criticism of my work as much as the next person, really. But I didn’t think that this:

    A harsh truth is much
    preferred to a fictive tale
    that cheapens our lives.

    would spark a furor. I guess I’ll try to explain in vastly more words.

    Death is scary. But making up stories about a way to live on after death just makes this one life we have into an obstacle, a test. A meaningless speed bump. I prefer to enjoy and make the most of the one life we know we have, rather than try to escape such a beautiful and amazing reality.

  • Wade,

    Why, thank you!! 😉 You make me blush.

    ————

    Stogoe,

    Thank you for clearing that up. It’s very fair, and I agree with you on many levels.

    Have you ever considered that religious people probably are even more afraid of death than the non-religious? That’s why they need something to hang onto. They get so obsessed by it that they do forget to live this life to the fullest. It reminds me of Chrismas Carol and Scrooge, where he cannot enjoy life because he’s so obsessed with saving money.

    The ones that say they are not afraid of death are fooling themselves. The ones that actually have no fear have no need to hang onto something as abstract as an afterlife. If one truly has faith, then the issue of an afterlife should be neither here nor there. We have to live this one first…

    I happen to believe there is something else after death, only because it just makes sense to me. But that’s not what drives me. What I am driven by is my freedom. My freedom to be, my freedom to love, and my freedom to be creative. And finally, my freedom from fear, which only happened to me a couple of months ago. From fear of peole, fear of rejection, fear of loneliness, fear of humiliation, fear of failure, fear of being wrong, fear of ridicule, fear of contradicting myself, fear of becoming a hypocrite, fear of fear, and even fear of death.

    Words do not do justice to my new-found freedom. I suddenly have an uncontrollable passion to share this with anyone and everyone that will listen. To tell them that there is absolutely no shame in exactly who they are.

    That’s why I’m here.

    Ah, another Haiku! I just can’t help myself…

    I shout blasphemy
    According to “Godly” ones
    But I KNOW my God

  • @Mike C: You see the comments numbered?

    Not the comments, the posters.

  • ash

    Mike C said,

    November 7, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    @Mike C: You see the comments numbered?

    Not the comments, the posters.

    i am not a number, i am a free (wo)man.

  • i am not a number, i am a free (wo)man.

    huh?

  • stogoe

    Mike C, I think it’s from The Prisoner, a show from the seventies(?). The protagonist, Number Six, probably said that at some point. I haven’t seen it, but it’s supposed to be good.

    Ash, Mike C means the ‘motivational posters’ from Hemant’s post, not the ‘commenters’.

  • Mike C, I think it’s from The Prisoner, a show from the seventies(?). The protagonist, Number Six, probably said that at some point. I haven’t seen it, but it’s supposed to be good.

    Right, that was a little before my time. (Though I have been to the town in Wales where they filmed it.)

  • Philosopher Jeff

    Mike C said,
    November 6, 2007 at 3:24 pm

    I liked #5 & #7. Most of the rest seemed less about atheism and more about mocking non-atheists.

    mollishka said,
    November 6, 2007 at 3:49 pm

    @Mike C: You see the comments numbered?

    Mike C said,
    November 7, 2007 at 1:12 pm

    Not the comments, the posters.

    ash said,
    November 7, 2007 at 1:39 pm

    i am not a number, i am a free (wo)man.

    Mike C said,
    November 7, 2007 at 2:46 pm

    huh?

    ————

    Mike C,

    I think the joke was “poster” as in a person posting comments. Ash was comment #7 and was joking about being called a “poster”. It took me a while to figure out the joke also.

    Sorry Ash about spoiling your fun. You definitely kept the confusion going.

  • Linda: The early Christians didn’t work like that. They didn’t require conversion before they cared for people. (That was a later development and always much debated when it occured.) This (Christianity) is a movement that succeeded, mind you. It continues to succeed. My point is that you’d best learn from their success if you are truly sincere about spreading the good news.

  • Ken

    Oh, another one
    Too many haiku’s to read
    My head is spinning

    —————————–
    1, 2, 3, 4, 5
    Atheism is alive
    I’ll say it again. . .

  • Joel Sax,

    First of all, I assumed you were an atheist. My mistake. That old adage “Assume makes an ASS out of U and ME” applies again. I’ve been using that a lot lately, because I do make an ass out of myself a lot. It’s what I’m gonna name my ministry – the “Fall-down ministry.” It’s where people can come and watch me fall on my face. But it’s so liberating for some odd reason… (???)

    Anyway, back to the subject:

    It continues to succeed.

    I disagree wholeheartedly.

    My point is that you’d best learn from their success if you are truly sincere about spreading the good news.

    I don’t remember saying that’s what I’m trying to do. As a matter of fact, I’m not “trying” to do anything. I’m just having fun and doing what comes natural to me. I got rid of my agenda the last time I fell on my face. Didn’t you get the memo? Let me ask you a question. This is not a “WHY” question, but it kind of is…

    What IS the good news, in your opinion?

  • Ken

    Good conversations.
    Is this a Competition?
    Back to the haiku’s . .

  • anti-nonsense

    You can keep your God
    and your happyland in the sky
    I like reality. thanks.

    Tooth fairy isn’t real
    Sky daddy isn’t real either
    Can you deal with it?

  • Polly

    Prisoners of time
    making Heaven an escape
    causing Hell on Earth

  • Polly,

    Haiku so profound
    In my humble opinion
    Gift of poetry

    ——–

    I got us off track
    My sincere apologies
    Let’s get back to FUN

  • Ken

    Thinking is too real
    may turn myself to blind faith
    yes, thats for me, NOT!

  • Milena

    When I was a kid
    Felt guilt for not believing
    Now I just feel free

  • I wrote these in OR class today. They are meant to be seperate, but I think they work pretty well as a four stanza super-haiku as well.

    I don’t know it all.
    Ignorance is a fact. Humbly,
    I search for truth.

    I can’t disprove god.
    Nor can you prove that he lives
    Let him prove himself.

    Your myths don’t scare me.
    Heaven and hell don’t impress.
    Reason is my guide.

    The Selfish Gene and
    Carl Sagan’s Cosmos explain
    more than any myth.

  • Jim RL,

    I love your super-Haiku. May I have permission to use yours as well? (I’ve already asked Polly.) I’ll be sure to reference you. 🙂

  • And Richard Wade,

    You may or may not see this comment, since we’ve moved on to other posts, but I have a question for you.

    I keep looking at that poster you made. It’s funny, cause it’s so true, and we’ve all been there. (I didn’t even know it was yours until just the other day.- sometimes, in my tunnel vision, I miss the important details.)

    Have you ever befriended a Morman? I mean as a real friend?

    I’m not only asking you this… I just want to know what the general consensus is.

  • Richard Wade,

    BTW, I need to talk to you. I need your professional (and heart) advice on a pressing matter. I emailed Hemant, and hopefully he will reply soon to give me your email address…

  • Linda,

    Sure, go right ahead. I’m really glad you like it.

  • Thanks, Jim! 🙂

  • Earl

    Now, what we really need is an atheist Haka.

  • Richard Wade

    Hi Linda,
    I’ve been on the road so I’m behind in reading the comments. Since you’re asking about Mormons I’m assuming you’re referring to the “Forbearance” poster rather than the “Patience” poster which is my other twisted creation.

    I have had a couple of casual friends who happened to be Mormon, but their faith never was an important part of the persona they projected and didn’t have any input into our relationship. They weren’t really close, special friends, although their religion would not have interfered with that, at least for my part. That was long ago and we have lost contact. My two very close friends are such because of a rare rapport that our personalities enjoy. Why are you asking?

  • Richard Wade,

    I was just asking, because one of my daughter’s best friends is a Mormon. As I have almost daily contact with these teens, and we talk non-stop about everything from sex to religion to politics, I’ve gotten to know him pretty well. He has 8 brothers and sisters. He’s the first Mormon that I actually have gotten to know as a person and learned to love.

    I used to judge them and be annoyed by them when they came to the door, because I knew nothing about them. I don’t think I would be annoyed now. I would probably invite them in and have a conversation with them. They are loving people just like us. Their acts of good will puts Christians to shame. And they’re just like us, other than making their young men go door to door to promote their religion. We don’t have to be afraid of them or annoyed by them. Invite them in but don’t go down that road of debating religion with them… would that be possible? I don’t know.. Just a thought. I’ve never actually done it.

    I just started wondering what I would do if those boys came to the door now, that that’s the thought I had.

    Still a great poster, though. And funny… I think even my daughter’s friend would think it was hilarious. He’s like that.

  • Samisad0rk

    Self motivation
    creates a good life
    not a diety

    Believe in yourself
    to accomplish happiness
    you are reality

    the sky is for birds,
    the moon, stars, and things that fly,
    look within and smile

  • Rose

    The Lord is our creator, Our Father
    and his son is our Saviour so why
    do you act as if he is…
    Us sinners

    N u will know…
    The Apocalypse can happen any time and
    all those with faith will…
    *!!Be Saved!!*

  • #1
    Somewhere in nowhere
    Religion became a fad
    Calling on Christ’s Dad

    #2
    Religious fervor
    Sweating preacher on TV
    I’ll keep my money

    #3
    Made In God’s Image
    Imagination runs wild
    Jesus, perfect crutch

  • Oren Goldschmidt

    First one ain’t quite atheistic but it sorta flowed outta me, so why the hell not:

    Why remain Jewish?
    Because my God gave your God
    His allowance, dear.

    And on to the topic at hand:

    Atheist Haiku I (“The Dada One”):

    No rhymes in haiku,
    natural selection say
    Monkey See, monkey…

    Atheist Haiku II (“The Relativist One”):

    Why must I profess
    Your silly deity is
    less silly than his?

    Atheist Haiku III (“The Ecumenical One”)

    Bishops get the hats
    Cardinals can vote, but the
    Pope gets all the chicks

    Atheist Haiku IV (“The Comparitive One”):

    God, Yahweh, buddha,
    Jesus, Cthulhu, Shiva… sheesh!
    I’ll take FSM

    Atheist Haiku V (“The Bestest One”):

    May the foetus you
    save grow up to be gay, bi,
    trans – just please not straight

  • beezle bob

    Religion sux. Agnosticism is a cop out. God or not live life and enjoy it – you never know when it will end! Trust me I died in an accident (when the helicopter got there my blood pressure was zero over zero and my pulse was zero). I was brought back to life with an experimental blood substitute.
    I fully remember dying. There was no tunnel. There was no white light. I did see my entire life flash before my eyes from beginning ti end like a deck of translucent cards with the beginning on the bottom and now on top – all at once. After that I did experience “nothingness”. I did hear a voice and felt the presense of two. The voice said, “do you see this nothingness? This is not what I want for you. Go back and try again.” Was it “God”? I don’t know – I didn’t see anything or anyone.
    I won’t force what I believe it was on anyone. Believe what you want. I just thought I’d share the the truth of the experience.
    Enjoy

  • Thanks, Jim!

  • Needs more baby sandwiches.

  • Lord Abortion

    Abortion is wrong
    You deprive the Dark Lord from
    Harvesting minions

    Atheists are dumb
    You waste my tax money on
    Frivolous lawsuits

    Dickhead atheist
    Smuggness won’t help you in hell
    Roast in Satan’s fire

    Atheism is weak
    Nihilists don’t waste time with
    Belief in morals

    Nihilism is truth
    Your life has no meaning, fool
    You should kill yourself

    George Bush will rule you
    As the right hand of the Lord
    Suck it, atheist

  • Kaa

    Unicorn, unseen;
    Flying Spaghetti Monster:
    Real as any gods.

  • Paul

    I am but a sheep
    I’ve always had religion
    Too afraid to quit

  • ash

    we got dugg @ digg.com!

    …and Hemant, i’d just like to point out the 2143 diggs and 573 comments. number bleeding 7 indeed. would it be inappropiate to throw an ‘oh ye of little faith’ at ya?

  • Ash — You win this round… but I still say the baby sandwich poster makes me laugh more 🙂

  • Turtle513

    heres my haiku, I actually don’t know if its actually a haiku cuz of the = but eh wtf

    atheism = real
    Religions are for the fools
    now eat a baby

  • Al

    You know, at least with religion we had some morals and values. If you killed someone you risked an eternity in hell. Now if you kill someone you can be acquitted and get a book deal. At least with religion the parents picked who you married. Now we can get divorced 10 times and have a bunch of screwed up kids who don’t know who their REAL parents are.

    Religion isn’t all that bad when you realize how f**ked up America has become at the hands of Atheists. Hey, it wasn’t the Christian right who took any hint of moral education from schools. Oh yeah that’s right, that’s for the parents to teach. Makes you wonder why kids are so screwed up.

  • Dave

    Al said: “Religion isn’t all that bad when you realize how f**ked up America has become at the hands of Atheists. Hey, it wasn’t the Christian right who took any hint of moral education from schools. Oh yeah that’s right, that’s for the parents to teach. Makes you wonder why kids are so screwed up.”

    Isn’t it the alleged “Christian leadership”, morals, and values of every president in America’s history, that led us to where we are today? It’s about time that atheists finally are able to take over and straighten everything out. I can’t wait for the day that “Christianity” finally takes a back seat to reality and common sense with GOOD morals and values, instead of the hypocrisy, bigotry, and intolerance that religion has brought us.

  • I.
    I was a Baptist
    Thinking for myself was fun
    Now I’m atheist

    II.
    Hypocrites suck ass
    Sex, drugs, rock n’ roll
    I don’t feel guilty

    III.
    In the beginning,
    There was ignorance and God
    God died when Man thought.

  • Richard Matthews

    I
    Atheism Sucks
    But Christianity Blows
    Make Your Lifelong Choice

    II
    They Say God Is Good
    We Say Who Is This God, Man
    They Say God Is God

    III
    The Bible Tells Us
    He Died On The Cross For Us
    Who Was It Asked Him?

    IV
    All Forgiving God
    Will See Us All Burn In Hell
    So Who Forgives Who?

  • Michaelangelo Conte

    Jesus conquered death

    Just over a month ago,

    Peeps are getting stale

  • M

    out of the silence
    came my questions; out of thought
    came joyous freedom

  • Jean Flateau

    After reading the above thread:

    What a GRAND mess we
    Are all in. Let’s just come to
    The fore and have wit

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