The Bible. In LOLspeak. October 7, 2007

The Bible. In LOLspeak.

And it’s a Wiki.

Here’s the current version of John 3:16:

So liek teh Invisible Man lieks teh ppl lots and he sez ‘Oh hai I givez u my only son’ and ifs u beleevs in him u wont evr diez no moar, k?”

(via Boing Boing)

[tags]atheist, atheism, LOLcat, Christian, Bible, Jesus[/tags]

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  • I wish there was a facebook app like this (not just the lolcats b/c there’s already one like that, but the bible lolcats). I’m literally laughing out loud at this. Maybe I’ll translate a chapter of a book (perhaps Revelation – that’d be fun!)

  • Mriana

    Oh good grief! 🙄 It reads like Booth Tarkington’s Seventeen. I never could stand that book and it’s horrible English. My mother thought it was one of the best books ever and wanted me to read it so badly, but I just could not stand it past the first chapter.

  • WTF???

  • *pain*

  • Funny! Hats off to anyone who undertakes a project like this. It can’t be easy. There have been so many translations of the Bible, many of them totally trashing the beautiful language of the KJV. Surely there’s room for one more.

  • James

    Sure, grand idea. Translate it from one language we can barely understand to another which makes most who read it say “Huh?”


  • @Mriana:

    I never could stand that book and it’s horrible English.

    [emphasis added]

    You mean “its“.”It’s” is the contraction of “it” and “is” – “its” is the possessive of “it”.


    I fail to see the beauty of the King James version…

    And Zebubebel begat Jerisia, who begat Aramazu, who begat Zeldibrath, who begat Onstar, who begat Fo, who begat Eminem… And it was good.

    – rambling topic=”language”

    This dialect which has come to be called Lolcat is just a parody of the way (mostly young) people already talk in online chat and text messages. Like it or not, it’s part of the continued evolution of our language. It’s a move from long, florid prose which we’ve already largely given up for the purpose of concise and efficient communication.

    Compare letters written by soldiers to their family during the American civil war with emails written today by American soldiers in the Middle East, and the difference is more than marked while remaining in context.

    Add similar letters from the world wars, the Korean war, the Vietnam war and the cold war, and you get a pretty smooth gradient. As communication becomes simpler to achieve, so does the language itself become simpler.

    With cell phones, however, it’s mostly an issue of being in a hurry, cramped input devices, and message length optimization (since longer messages are broken apart and billed separately)

    – /rambling

    I love the Lolcat Bible. It’s a great and ambitious work of parody, rather humorous throughout (so far), and bonus points for probably being as close to the original documents as the various “serious” translations in use today. ^^

  • Mriana

    Well, Katie, see what that stuff can do to an English Major for a second degree? It really messes up people’s minds.

    Supposedly there is talk of doing the whole Bible like this too. 🙄 Why I don’t know.

  • Hey,

    I’m the owner of the Lolcat Bible Translation website. Thought I’d share a bit about why I did it.

    Essentially, the idea of the wiki was merely a whim of mine when I saw a picture floating around with a page of Genesis translated into the LOLCat pidgin. I thought it would be prudent to undertake the entire work.

    The most common reaction so far is “Wow, that is awesome!” The most negative is “What a waste of time.”

    I am here to confirm that I do indeed have far too much time on my hands. I am also here to confirm that it is probably blasphemous, but being pretty atheist I’m not too worried about the “Ceiling Cat” striking me down anytime soon.

    I would not be surprised if this is more accurate than some “normal” translations out there. Also, I hate to break it to many people, but lolcat is not exactly how kids talk online. In fact, it takes effort to write in lolcat. it’s not very easy at all.

    Most of all, I just find it funny. Let’s face it, the Bible is quite dreary, violent, and insane. I imagine we are softening it up, if anything. Sex becomes “PENIS GOES Z WHEAR?” and violence becomes “stealin mah cheezburgerz.” I’d recommend this version over the current KJV or NIV for your children.

    On a slightly more serious note… I think the willingness to laugh at what is in the Bible, even in a different form, may show just how silly the whole book is. People died for this book. When you find it in this form one can’t help but wonder, “They died… for this?” I think the time has come to poke a little fun at things. Shake up the system so to speak.

    On a quick final note, I saw a Christian forum linking to my site and talking about how “blasphemous” it is. Needless to say, I think they missed the point entirely.

    Anyways, sorry to be so loquacious, just thought I’d share my thoughts.


  • Mriana

    Here you go. This is where they hope to do the whole thing:

    Me thinks it’s rather dumb. 🙄

  • Mriana

    Actually, Martin, when my 18 y.o. son and I sat down and read it together, he translated what didn’t make sense to me so I understood it better. I must admit, now that I understand it better, it is rather funny. Thing is, I’m a bit dimwitted to the lingo and need a younger person to explain some of it. Um… yeah, he had to explain the cheezburger bit to me. 🙁

    Maybe if more people snagged a teenager to explain it to them, they might get it. 😆 Danx Ceiling Cat fer teenz!

  • Ted

    Hello everyone,

    I’m partially responsible for this as well, since I’m the guy who put together the original image that inspired the wiki.

    (The image is not photoshopped; I actually set the type to match my Bible, printed it out, trimmed it to match the leaves in the book and took a photo.)

    Although I consider myself an atheist (I’m a big fan of your blog here, Mr. Mehta), I didn’t do this with any sort of blasphemy in mind. I’m simultaneously amused and disappointed that people read it that way, but I guess it shouldn’t be unexpected. More insight into my thought process can be found on my blog.

    Thanks for reading.

  • Takeo

    That whole “Bible” is and has never been more than a compilation of disparate fictional prose of bad quality in a number of languages and not so very long ago someone made one “book”of it. 16th century? If one takes the time to read it, it turns out to be a story of murder, war, manslaughter, racism, adultery and incest and it is considered “good” in a context of judeo-christian mind-numbing, brainwashing and guilt induction. Most objectionable.
    The ‘christians” force small children to adore and worship a corpse nailed to a pole, which is downright SICK. I think it is even criminal.

    Ceiling Cat, however, makes much more sense. The ancient egyptians worshipped cats. Cat religion ought to be nowaday’s standard.

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