Guess Who Found Jesus? August 27, 2007

Guess Who Found Jesus?

Michael Vick.

Allow me to just quote Dan Savage, who put it so well:

How come no one ever finds Jesus before they get caught doing something criminal?

Why is this I’ve-found-Jesus detail trotted out, uncritically, in news reports? If a close reading of the news tells us anything—and I’m hoping that news reporters read the news closely—it’s that people who’ve made a big public fuss about “finding Jesus” are no less likely to commit crimes than people who are incapable of locating this Jesus person.

[tags]atheism, atheist, The Stranger[/tags]

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  • Not James Cameron and his archeologists, I guess.

  • Is Jesus the new Waldo? Or Osama?

    In case no one got my joke … I’m talking about people looking for Jesus. Har Har. Of course Osama hasn’t been found yet.

    And I, too, blogged about Vick finding Jesus/God at my blog:

    I almost put up that Dan Savage quote as I was searching for the Vick story on the ‘net (I first heard this on CNN).

    And out of curiosity, I want to know if you get paid for writing this blog (I’m sure that either way you love keeping this blog, and I love reading this blog … it’s definitely one of my favorite blogs on the ‘net).

  • llewelly

    Perhaps committing a crime damages the mind in a way that makes it more vulnerable to a religious virus.

  • Jonas

    Not being raised Christian, I may have a fundamental problem with a main Christian Concept: ‘Christ Died for our Sins.’ People who take it as the blame & guilt we did are absolved because Christ died for us. It’s like you stole from a department store, but your dad already prepaid into an account $100,000 for any item you might want. – so you can do anything, and Christ paid for it.

    But they actually hurt others (people or animals etc), and don’t apologize to them.

  • Hah. Well, if these constant media reports of conveniently timed conversions make people more skeptical of whether being born-again actually does anything, or whether it’s just a cynical ploy to drum up sympathy, that would be all the good.

  • Tom in Iowa

    How come no one ever finds Jesus before they get caught doing something criminal?

    Well, duh, the people who have found Jesus don’t do anything criminal, and don’t get written about in the media.

    Yeah, right. 😉

    Jonas hits the nail on the head. This then leads to the position “Jesus has forgiven me, so you have to too.”

  • I always wanted to buy the T-shirt that said:

    {front} I found Jesus!

    {back} He was behind the couch.

    I may still.

  • joe

    Jesus Is the greatest friend you will ever find and accept into your heart. Jesus loves you and he proved it when he died a hidious death at calvary and rose from the dead. What do you gain if you gain the whole world and lose your own soul.

  • Mike

    Okay, This might make some of you mad but i think i switched from being an atheist. I definatly believe in something now and i do believe its jesus, God, it doesnt matter what you call it. Now, i am not a ‘blind’ believer and there is no way am going to follow the bible because i am not going to have rules on how i shall or shall not live my life. However, the other day i had the sudden feeling of LOVE. Love for every single thing, Love for every person in my work, and then in turn i felt loved, i dont know what it is. It reminded me of the grinch when his heart grew 3 times the size. I have never felt so safe, warm, care free, and just taken care of. I am not saying that this is the mystical doings of some invisible guy in the sky or anything like that, it just made me believe that there is a designer behind all of life, call him/her what you want but i can tell you one thing, It LOVES all of us, every single one. Now this paragraph is going to open up some debate so just email me at but nothing can change my mind about how happy i am now just feeling good about everything i do and everyone i meet, i am a hell of alot nicer now. Yes i still swear, make dirty jokes, drink, the same shit the average guy does but i dunno, its just a great feeling 24/7. SO guys, let your rants out in email because ii know that this comment is pouring fuel on everyones fire.

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