Birthday Wishes

Yes, I know.

You’ve been thinking about this for weeks now.

Hemant’s turning 24 today. What should I get him for his birthday?

I’ll help you out.

1. A Plasma TV. To watch Joel Osteen.
2. The Intelligent Design vs. Evolution Board Game.
3. A nun.
4. Thongs. (That’s right. Plural. Only because they’re funny.)
5. Copies of I Sold My Soul on eBay. (Ok, I don’t *need* them, per se… I have the manuscript right next to me. But boosting my Amazon Sales Rank to #1 would be a nice gift. Someone go buy 983812242312 copies of the book. Now!)
6. Ok, fine. Amazon gift certificates are accepted, too.
7. Jesus Dress Up. Final Justice edition.
8. Everything here.
9. Jennifer Garner.
10. Subscriptions to fun Science-y magazines:

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